Robert Byrd's God Can't Help Him Now
Exalted Cyclops and 89-year-old West Virginia Senator Robert Byrd tried to bring some "fun" to the swearing-in ceremonies yesterday by going crazy for Jesus and then falling into what was obviously a drug-and-dementia-induced trance.
Through the opening prayer to the American god -- a practice that Islamo-Fascist Thomas Jefferson had long tried to ban -- Byrd hollered and yelped a variety of Jesus Freakery, such as "Praise Jesus!" and "Hallelujah!"
But Byrd pushed things too far when he pumped his fist and yelled "So help me God!" to Dick Cheney. The dark lord merely glanced at Byrd. As the air chilled and sparks appeared around Cheney's fingers, the Senate's oldest member "appeared weak and started to collapse." You don't invoke your god around Dick Cheney. We're pretty sure something similar happened to Tim Johnson.
Glenn comes to rescue, grabs Byrd as he falls [Cleveland Plain Dealer]