The most compelling evidence yet that John Roberts is not gay:

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A real gay man would have hit the Rogaine on that baby years ago. Sigh. Who will write the show tunes for the Supreme Court Follies now?

[Kevin Lamarque/Reuters]

UPDATE: We've been reminded that there are many bald gay men (coughJeff Gannoncough). Shaving one's head is, of course, the sexy metrosexual solution to going bald. Also, it's not so much losing one's hair that makes one gay or straight, it's that little swirly thing that's not quite a combover that screams "I USE NO HAIR PRODUCTS." Very much a don't. Then again, he's been in the closet so long, perhaps there's not a mirror in there. . .