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Romney Going Around Being Personally Coy To Every Citizen of Iowa and N.H.

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It was four days before the 2010 midterm elections, and Romney was making the Granite State rounds. People applauded him for just walking into a room. At the neocolonial estate of one wealthy contributor, the former Massachusetts governor glided from handshake to handshake, delighted to see so many he called "old friends," while the new ones lined up to snap pictures. "This is New Hampshire," Romney remarked in the childlike way of a candidate at work

"And this is a chair. And this is a slice of cheese. And this is a cell phone. And this is a hair I ripped out of my scalp. And this is the floor. And this is a shirt. And this is not a shirt. Vote for me, if I were running for something, though, like, I'm totally not." [Time]

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I wasn't ready for Koko the gorilla to die. She was just 46, so still young well past the upper age limit for a gorilla, but I'll miss her. She loved cats, told mildly amusing jokes, and put up with people, so she was a lot like your weird aunt.

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Donald Trump held one of his televised cabinet meetings today in which he railed about the terrible Democrats who forced the current border crisis (at a time when illegal border crossings are actually lower than usual). In what's sure to be his favorite phrase on Twitter for the next few days, Trump blamed "extremist open-border Democrats" for all the problems he brought on himself with his family separation policy, and explained that Democrats were simultaneously hurting illegal immigrants AND the rest of America by forcing Normal America to accept Central Americans who fled to the US. It made loads of sense! And then things got ... less so.

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