Rove Heads Home to Eat Offspring

* Karl Rove quits the White House after ushering in an unprecedented bipartisan era of good feelings and guiding the president to a time of unparalleled peace and prosperity. Cynical suggestions that some kind of criminal prosecution is in short order are unfounded and, if we may say so, completely reprehensible. [AP, NYT, WP, WT]

* Tommy Thompson quits the race, dashing our dreams of the Thompson/Thompson wonder-ticket that would make this nation great again. [NYT]

* One-time bush Labor Secretary nominee and just one of many of the nation's employers of illegal immigrants raises gajillions of dollars through her PACs and keeps the money for herself, which should surprise exactly no one. Is this even news? Why are we even putting this here? [WP]

* A crisis over Bush appointees is averted as everyone involved decides they'd rather be on vacation. [Roll Call]

* Michelle Obama pulls a Lizzy Edwards to clear up some business for her husband. "Dude is black like the night," she tells the world. [USAT]

* Like Uncle Pussy, corrupt hill staffer hopes wearing a wire will help him beat his H wrap. [WP]

* Mike Huckabee has distinguished himself as one hilarious motherfucker. [NYT]


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