Real Americans carry a flag, a cross, and a gun. Preferably several of each.

Roy Moore got a nice tongue-bath Monday from the American Patriarchy Association's Bryan Fischer in a radio interview, where the two explained that only evil people could possibly oppose Moore, duh. Along the way, Moore also suggested that George Soros is plotting against him, and like anyone else who hasn't gotten saved, is going to hell. Not that the remarks had anything to do with Soros being one of those Globalist Jewish type people, why would you get that impression?

Fischer dismissed allegations that Moore had ever molested a 14-year-old or tried to rape another teen, saying they'd been debunked, and Moore agreed that he was simply an innocent victim of "pure hatred, and it’s pure spite and it’s pure evil and wrong." He's big on purity, you know, whether in his own character, the girls he "dates," or the evil of his opponents:

Moore said that people in the Washington establishment “do not want me to take the truth of our Constitution and our God to Washington, D.C.” He said the attacks on him are evidence that “immorality permeates every aspect of our society” and the only way to bring back morality is for the country to acknowledge that Almighty God is the “true source” of morality.

Which is to say, it was a Monday. Then the conversation turned to a Breitbart story claiming that a "Soros army" of radical leftists (the only kind there is) has been frantically registering convicted felons to vote, because isn't it obvious that any voter registration drive has to be aimed at evil people? Moore actually took a pass on condemning felons, which was nice of him, saying he thought some felons might actually deserve to vote. Oh, but that Soros fellow, he is a nasty piece of work, Moore said, what with all the not being really American and his failure to recognize God:

Soros certainly is trying to alter the voting populace, that's true. He is pushing an agenda and his agenda is sexual in nature, his agenda is liberal, and not what Americans need. It’s not our American culture. Soros comes from another world that I don’t identify with. I wish I could face him directly. And I’d tell him the same thing. No matter how much money he’s got, he’s still going to the same place that people who don’t recognize God and morality and accept his salvation are going. And that’s not a good place.

Yep, those Jews really aren't saved, now are they? Not that Moore said anything about Jews, so if anyone asks he was just repeating Jesus's message that all must come to Him, nudge-nudge wink-wink. Also, is an accused child molester anyone to be complaining about an agenda that's "sexual in nature"? Poor Roy just can't help himself, can he?

A conservative never-Trump outfit, the Reagan Battalion, heard and decoded the dog whistle just fine:

Sure, George Soros is evil and bad for America, but GOOD Republicans don't say the part about his being Jewish and unsaved quite so loud, dear.

In the old-fashioned politics of a pre 11/9/16 world, we might expect the Moore campaign to issue a rote denial that Moore meant anything other than that Americans must all humble themselves before God, but now, we don't even know whether they'll bother. After all, he's a solid vote on tax cuts.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Please click here to send us money. It's always about money with us, isn't it? Speaking of, Doug Jones needs your support, too!

[RightWingWatch / Haaretz]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Oh hi! Michael Cohen is going to jail, because he is guilty! Just like Paul Manafort is guilty and GO THE FUCK TO JAIL! WHERE HE ALREADY WAS! (Read up on that here!) And all this news came out in the same hour, somehow, because we live in the dumbest fucking episode of "Law & Order" Dick Wolf ever threw on the cutting room floor, on account of how it was too stupid for words.

However, Cohen avoided a big nasty trial (or series of trials, like Manafort opted for) by just cold pleading guilty to a buncha fuckin' crimes, like a crimer who does a buncha fuckin' crimes all the time. And he implicated Donald Trump in a couple of them!

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HOLY FUCK this afternoon! Michael Cohen just finished a hearing in a New York courtroom where he said, "DURRRR I AM SO GUILTY," but this post is not about that. This post is about how Paul Manafort verdict has just come out! He has been found guilty on eight of the 18 charges he faced in the Eastern District of Virginia (EDVA). The jury is hopelessly deadlocked on the other 10, and so a mistrial will be declared on those and Paul Manafort may get to be retried on them, in addition to his next trial over conspiracies against the United States and witness tampering, which starts next month in Washington DC. Maybe the government will decide Manafort is going to die in jail anyway, and play hooky from retrying those other counts. They probably need a vacay, don't you think?

Trump really does hire the best people!

NBC News's Ken Dilanian broke the news that Manafort has been convicted on five counts of tax fraud, one count of failing to report a foreign bank account on an IRS form, and two charges of bank fraud. The short version of that is that he is guilty of EIGHT FEDERAL FELONIES (so far) and he is going to jail for EIGHT MILLION YEARS for each count. (OK, that is probably not completely accurate. But still, welcome to prison, Paul Manafort!)

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