PER WONKETTE POOL PRODUCER DRINKING WITH RTCA GUESTS AT AFTER-DINNER PARTIES PROVIDES THE FOLLOWING SUMMARY OF EVENTS
NO DIRECT QUOTES/NO DIRECT QUOTES
Security surprisingly lax at Radio and Television Correspondents Association dinner; it's possible that a young couple dressed in evening wear could simply slip in towards the end and watch an atrocious comedian's final terrible jokes before moving on to the open bars downstairs.
Not that this happened.
Receptions hosted by CNN, MSNBC, and FOX.
Getting MSNBC out of the way first: Sucked. Anything with an open bar can't be that bad, but sandwiched between the off-the-hook extravaganzas of CNN and FOX, one chocolate fountain (not what it sounds like) does not a glamorous party make.
CNN party: Red-velvet disco-themed with lots of sweets and even hors d'oeuvres (Didn't these people just finish eating dinner?). "Vodt-ka" bar in the back, stacks and stacks and stacks of souvenir CNN shot glasses. Not sure what message this is supposed to send, but CNN is more exciting if you're watching it without sound on big screens while a DJ plays 80's top 40 hits.
And if you're also drunk.
Also more fun when drunk: Photo booths. CNN had one of those, too. How many assistant producers went home with some semi-incriminating snapshots in their wallets? We're not telling, but some ABC chick kept pulling The Daily Show's Rob Corddry in there. Also overheard in the area from a recently-emerged couple divvying up the results of their photo session:
- Her: I can't take this picture home. . . I'm married.
Him: No, you can take that one home, because you're married. I just have a girlfriend.
- Young woman with bazooms on display: Omigod! There's Rob Corddry!
[No hard data on this, but fake journalist Rob Corddry appeared to be the star-fucking object of choice for real journalists.]
FOX party: There's a reason they're number one, and it ain't the reporting. It's the fantastic production values. Studio 54-themed, everything white disco-themed. Better food. Excellent touch: Interns standing in front of mock street-side main entrance with clipboards, asking people if they were "on the list." Even better: Five bars. What really made it happen: A bartender at one of the bars explaining it was for "important people" -- and refusing to serve anyone. Roger Ailes is a genius. (Though this conceit broke down fairly quickly.) Clearly had the biggest names, too. Mo Rocca, Shep Smith. . . and a surprisingly frail-looking Richard Perle, looking, as always, like a aging drag queen, wandering in alone, walking around the room, and leaving.
Joe Trippi: Yes, I threw a cell phone. I guess I'm the only campaign manager in the history of the world to ever lose his temper.
Handsome young man: Are those girls over there hookers or what?
Rob Corddry: What's funny is that it's only the serious news media that takes us seriously. I have no idea what's really happening in the world. When I read the paper, I start with "Dining Out."
Young woman, probably not a hooker: Ew, Richard Perle just brushed by me! I have evil cooties!
Handsome young man: No, really, do you think they're hookers?
• TNR's Ryan Lizza spill a drink down the front of someone's dress.
• Gaggle of beautiful women scrum in front of Paul Wolfowitz.
• Omarosa towering over a pack of small white men.
• Wesley Clark smiling his way from Fox to CNN. He's short. Happily, so is Gert.
• Sam, not anywhere near Omarosa.
• Horde of drunk journalists closing out the CNN party by singing "Red, Red Wine." (Thank God they have day jobs.)