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Rudy Giuliani Will Run For President, He Guesses

YEAH I'M POINTING AT YOU PUNK Rudy Giuliani, America's rat-faced cousin-marrying mayor, has blatantly been running for president for years and years, and has even filed paperwork to that effect and raised more money than you or I will ever see in that cause, but, in some science-fiction way that nobody can really explain, he wasn't really running for president because he, like, didn't say the words in the right order or something. Last night he did, on Larry King (presumably Regis was booked), but he brought his own special brand of Rudy charm to the exercise by declaring in the language of a sullen sixteen-year-old who's been asked to take out the garbage:


Mr. Giuliani twice said, "Yes, I'm running," according to a transcript provided by CNN before the interview was broadcast. Asked if he would make a formal announcement of the kind favored by other candidates, he said, "I guess you do."

"What, I have to get balloons, and a podium, and call, like, newspaper people and everything? Why do you always make me do this stuff? I hate you!"

He was equally prickly and recalcitrant on his policy positions:

Mr. King asked if Mr. Giuliani would agree that the Senate would have voted unanimously against the war if it were known that Mr. Hussein did not have weapons of mass destruction. "Yes, I guess," he said.

...

He has said lately that he would appoint "strict constructionists" to the bench, a phrase taken by many conservatives -- and, yesterday, by Mr. King -- to mean judges who would not support the Roe decision. "I don't know that," he said. "You don't know that." When Mr. King asked him to define what a strict constructionist is, Mr. Giuliani said, "There are a lot of ways to explain that," and did not elaborate.

Admittedly this is all from a transcript, so we aren't getting the full effect of the legendary Rudy way with people.

Photo courtesy Getty Images

Giuliani Says He Is Running For President In '08 [NYT]

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