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Trump's Brain Trust --viaSNL/Youtube


Well, it's finally happened. We've reached the inevitable stage of YES COLLUSION! YES COLLUSION! WE ARE THE COLLUSION, AND IT'S TOTALLY FINE! Take it away, Rudy Giuliani.

In a recent interview with HuffPost, Giuliani initially disputed the notion that Trump’s daily citing, in the final month of his campaign, of Russian-aligned WikiLeaks and its release of Russian-stolen emails constituted “colluding” with Russia.

“It is not,” Giuliani said.

Then he switched tacks.

“OK, and if it is, it isn’t illegal... It was sort of like a gift,” he said. “And you’re not involved in the illegality of getting it.”

It's sort of like a gift. One that Trump repeatedly asked for. And that his dipshit son coordinated for him. And that his good buddy Roger Stone announced in advance.

Hey, remember when Giuliani claimed to be an expert on campaign finance law because that one time he spent $61 million to win zero states in the 2008 Republican primary? That was the day he claimed it was cool, bruh that Michael Cohen paid off Stormy Daniels 12 days before the election because Donald Trump reimbursed him eventually.

Hey, Rudy! You wanna keep talking that crazy shit to HuffPost?

You say stolen. I say, emails that were put out in the public domain. You’d also have to believe that U.S. intelligence was correct. They’ve been right about a lot of things. They’ve been wrong about a lot of things. I certainly wouldn’t trust Clapper or Brennan as far as I could throw them.

Watch your back, Michael Cohen! You leave your man alone, and he'll go find some hot young thing to whisper sweet lunacies in his ear and forget all about you.

And Rudy's workin' hard for that NO MONEY! By day he shakes his tailfeathers on television, smacktalking James Comey and Andy McCabe as lying leakers. From the car, he calls reporters and tells them that Robert Mueller totally said that he plans to wrap up the obstruction investigation by September so as not to interfere with the midterms. And reporters actually print that shit like it could be true!

We are old enough to remember when this guy insisted that the investigation would be over in two weeks, but please, tell us more about the time when Robert Mueller sat down with Rudy Giuliani for a long heart-to-heart about legal strategy! Because that is exactly how prosecutors do it.

"We said we wanted the questions limited to Russian collusion," one of the sources with knowledge of the President's legal strategy tells CNN. Since that aspect of the investigation deals with the Trump campaign and transition team's interactions with Russians, it would exclude questions about Trump's actions once in office. And even within the pre-presidency category, Trump's lawyers want to narrow what questions the prosecutors can ask.

The focus on Trump's conduct prior to assuming the presidency also would exclude questions about the firing of then-FBI Director James Comey and possible obstruction of justice.

One possibility Trump's lawyers are discussing is a combination of in-person and written answers: a limited Trump interview on Russia pre-presidency matters plus written answers to questions regarding obstruction.

Oh, "a source" told you that, CNN? REALLY??? And you printed it like it was just a normal part of negotiations between prosecutors and defense attorneys?

However, the sources caution that Mueller has suggested he is not inclined to agree to written answers to questions.

WHAT. EVER.

But back to Rudy, who ends his day with the Big Guy himself ALLEGEDLY.

"You're doing great, Tiger!" He whispers. "We've got those bastards on the ropes, and Mueller's going down!" Then he tucks the baby president into bed with a Bic Mac, and makes sure the phone is charged up. Soon it will be time for a conjugal visit with Trump's real wife -- he usually calls when he gets off the air for a sexxxxxy bedtime story. Maybe that one about Hillary going to jail, and Andy McCabe going to jail, and James Comey going to jail, and James Clapper going to jail, and Rosie O'Donnell going to jail ...

Just a few grunts, and the leader of the free world rolls over and falls asleep on a cheeseburger. Gotta wake up early and start the day with his good buddies at Fox.

DEAR GOD.

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[ / CNN]

Five Dollar Feminist

Your FDF lives in Baltimore under an assumed identity as an upstanding member of the PTA. Shhh, don't tell anyone she makes swears on the internet!

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CNN is suing Donald Trump, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, and others in an attempt to get Jim Acosta's press credentials restored. CNN attorneys argue that whatever lame excuse the White House fabricated about his beating an intern to death with a microphone, the real reason Trump suspended his White House pass was plain old not liking CNN's coverage, and that there is an unconstitutional violation of the First Amendment.

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Photo: Wikimedia Commons

LOVE AND MAWWIAGE! That is what brings us here today. More or less.

In fact, what brings us here today is Georgia Secretary of State Brian Kemp's herculean efforts to drag his ratfucking carcass across the gubernatorial finish line after disenfranchising a million of his constituents who wanted to elect Stacey Abrams. Like Prince Humperdinck shouting, "Man and Wife! Say Man and Wife!" Kemp insists that the vote tally MUST be certified tomorrow, whether the counting is finished or not. And if not, well, so much the better.

The part of Westley will be played today by Common Cause Georgia -- which makes perfect sense if you are a Millennial or Gen X-er. (And if not, apologies!) On November 5, Common Cause made a novel claim against the state of Georgia. They weren't saying that Kemp was deliberately ratfucking the voter data base himself. But they did argue that the insecurity of voter information guarded by the secretary of state violated voters' due process rights because anyone could break in and change the data.

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