Rumors on the Internets: Make Someone Your Bitch
France: stage more riots. We like those. [ Wizbang ]
Pentagon: check Osama's Away Message. After he returns from "taking a shower," crash his "party on the Afghan border (BYOB!!!)" [ The Jawa Report ]
Florida public school system: choose your battles. If most of your kids can't read, will they really understand the political bravado of a Pink ballad? [ TalkLeft ]
Pfizer: omniscience is unbecoming. Keep your drug reps cute, ditzy, and stocked. [ HuffPo ]
America: quit PMSing. Call aforementioned drug reps and learn to [chemically] love our leader. [ Daily Kos ]