* Chris Matthews to judge this year's Miss America pageant with AC Slater and a bunch of honky tonk b-listers. [Broadcasting & Cable]

* William Rehnquist spent his days in an OxyContin haze, just like you. [Above The Law]

* "If she goes out, she goes down" to join such classics as "if she smokes, she pokes" and "if she says 'fuck,' she fucks." [Feministing]

* HUD Secretary Alphonso "Double Stuff" Jackson, shows off his impressive boot-strap pulling workout regimen. [Dean's World]

* A portrait of Bill O'Reilly that Stephen Colbert gave Harvard found to be suspiciously sticky. [The Crimson]

* Nouri al-Maliki wants to take his ball and go home. [Political Animal]

* Curt Weldon to use ill-gotten gains to pay fine on ill-gotten golf trip. [Roll Call]