* Justice Department functionary fears being "scootered," pleads the fith. [Above the Law]

* Army recruiter's racist homophobic rants made hilarious by use of caps lock. [Pandagon]

* John Conyers can buy and sell you. [After Downing Street]

* Vast majority of government business done over Hotmail since "whitehouse.gov" addresses make it harder to the get at the Cialis and Ambien. [War and Piece]

* Mormons abandon support of Iraq war. What's next, drinking coffee? [Passport]

* Entire Conservative Union board quits after appointing Tom DeLay to itself, but that might just be the chron talking. [Chron]