Rush Limbaugh, Naturally, Is Very Concerned About Why Barack Obama Abducted And Raped Those Cleveland Girls


Guys, do you want a person who kidnaps three young girls, and then rapes and beats and impregnates and beats and rapes them some more to be the president of the United States? You DON'T? That is so weird! Because now you and Rush Limbaugh are on the same page! Oh, except Rush Limbaugh doesn't say Obama actually raped and beat and impregnated and kidnapped the girls himself. He just made it possible, with his welfare and Obamaphones, by time traveling back to 10 years ago, when the girls were kidnapped and he was not president. Let's give a listen!

“[A]s it so happens, I happened last night to watch Hawaii Five-0 on CBS,” he explained. “Hawaii Five-O‘s premise last night was kidnapped girls held until they were 18 and then let go or killed — well, always killed — by a couple doing it for the welfare benefits.”

As soon as Rush Limbaugh find the AFDC application listing Michelle Knight, Gina DeJesus, and Amanda Berry as dependents, we will be happy to give that a listen. But is there more? Well there is a "read more" tag, so we assume so!

“Now I don’t know what happened in Cleveland, but I couldn’t help but make the connection. I mean, if everybody else in the low-information crowd is going to use what happens on TV for reality, why can’t I?”

Limbaugh added: “Three brothers, but not related the the three women, have been arrested in Cleveland — which voted Obama. Not that that’s got anything to do with anything!”

Well, that is true. It does not have anything to do with anything. And you know what? The Castro brothers are Latino, and working-class, and at least one of them is a musician, so they probably are not Republicans at all! We will even stipulate to that! And your Wonkette has never been above speculating that terrible criminals must be Republican, so we won't even bitch that Limbaugh is assuming these human shitstains are Obamatons. Hey, they could be!

But we think if Barack Obama had a time machine, before going back to give the Castro brothers welfare that there is no evidence they had, he should really have killed Hitler.


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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