Sad Dubai Bus Driver Tried To Rape Wrong Female Sailor
Sad news for Dubai bus drivers who want to rape their female passengers at knifepoint: sometimes those female passengers will be off-duty United States Navy personnel, and they will fuck your shit up. How is that even fair?
The alleged assailant, a 21-year-old Pakistani man in Dubai, tried to kiss the unnamed U.S. sailor, but when she refused, he pulled out a knife and threatened to rape her. The sailor knocked the blade from his hand and broke it in two before locking him between her thighs.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Sorry, let us catch our breath.
So we guess we can add one more tip to "How Not to Die in a Mass Shooting": be a fucking kickass macho chick female soldier, sailor, marine, or whatever they call Air Force and Coast Guard people, who can break weapons with her bare hands and imprison you between her steel buns and thighs, the end.
(Also: buy a Thighmaster.)
Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.