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Libertarian "presidential candidate" Gary Johnson took another cruise on the Failboat Wednesday when MSNBC's Chris Matthews asked him to name his favorite foreign leader, on a television program ironically named "Hardball." The slow pitch over the plate was too much for Johnson to take:


Johnson's veep candidate didn't exactly distinguish himself either, immediately coming up with "Shimon Peres," whose name was conveniently in the news since he'd just died yesterday. But Matthews had to go and be a meanie, insisting he only wanted living leaders -- though he didn't raise the stakes even higher and insist they still be in office. Poor Johnson was visibly wilting, or maybe panicking.

Matthews badgered him for an answer: "Any one of the continents, any country, name one foreign leader that you respect and look up to, anybody."

We can see how that might have thrown Johnson, since then he had to think about Antarctica and remember that it's an international protectorate, and has no real leader, which only added to his confusion. Matthews named a few countries and continents, but nothing popped up.

“I guess I’m having an Aleppo moment,” Johnson said, referring to that time he bombed a besieged city full of Syrian refugees. Finally, Johnson recalled he liked the cut of a Mexican president's jib once, but couldn't come up with a name. Weld came to his rescue, suggesting "Fox," and Johnson ran with that. Would have been funner if he'd said "Stop fooling, at least I know we're on MSNBC."

Then it was Weld's turn, and he tentatively offered "Merkel?" Probably dreaming of giving a nice shoulder massage.

Meanwhile, everyone watching at home was either glad they weren't being asked to name any damn foreigners, or if they were Wonkette readers, were jumping up and down and shouting SEXY JUSTIN TRUDEAU!

Then they had to name their favorite U.S. Presidents and they were both like "Jefferson," because come on, they're unimaginative libertarians.

[NYT / MSNBC on YouTube]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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