Sad Panda Bob Dole: GOP Not Exactly Overflowing With Ideas. Tea Party: Nuh-Uh!


Former Senator, 1996 GOP Presidential candidate, and pioneer of referring to himself in the third person Bob Dole sat down for a Fox News Sunday interview with newsmanniken Chris Wallace, and said, to the surprise of virtually no one, that the modern GOP is more interested in obstructing Barack Obama than in getting anything done in Congress, that he, Ronald Reagan, and Richard Nixon would never make any headway in their own party today, and that the party needs a serious overhaul:

“I think they ought to put a sign on the national committee doors,” Dole said of the GOP, “that says closed for repairs until New Year’s Day next year and spend that time going over ideas and positive agendas.”

So pretty much the entire GOP can be shipped to Afghanistan, no one has lost any. When BobDole suggests that the party's tone has taken a turn for the nasty, you may want to put on a biohazard suit.

Needless to say, the notion that the GOP needs to do any rethinking after the 2012 elections is RIDICULOSE, because the real problem was that the party ran a candidate who was not far enough to the right. Consider this analysis at Michelle Malkin's Internet Twitching Parlor, which says that the GOP is doing just great without communists like Dole:

The Republican Party currently controls the U.S. House of Representatives and has a realistic shot at re-capturing control of the U.S. Senate in 2014.

Despite that, former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole said yesterday on Fox News Sunday that the Republican Party should be “closed for repairs.”

Even more insultingly, he stated that former President Richard Nixon would not be welcome in the Republican Party today because Nixon “had ideas.”

Yes, Nixon was all about ideas, such as a massive increase in federal regulation, racial quotas and set-asides, and domestic spending.

We can see why Dole admires Nixon, but we’re glad most modern-day Republicans reject big-spending liberalism.

Because why pay for a war when you can just do it off-budget? Besides, BobDole gave us the jerbs-killing Americans With Disability Act, which was really just a giveaway to all his cronies in the Big Disability scam. There is nothing in the Constitution that requires private businesses to have wheelchair ramps for you "WWII war heroes," Mr. Dole!

Along similar lines, RedState offered some serious ideas of its own: "Thank GOODNESS Bob Dole could NOT make it in today’s GOP," noting that BobDole lost in 1996, so why should the GOP take advice from a big old loser? The piece doesn't consider the possibility that Dole lost to Bill Clinton because people preferred Clinton's policies. He must have lost because he didn't offer a wingnutty-enough contrast to Clinton, maybe.

Also, how dare Dole suggest that Reagan would have no place in today's GOP, because "he was a special man built for a special time" and something something THE MAN WAS A SAINT WHO KILLED THE USSR.

In any case, we always sort of liked BobDole, dickish though he often was, because he said the Truest Thing Ever when he was running for Vice President in 1976. Asked why he wanted to be veep, he replied, "It's indoor work, and no heavy lifting."

The man was an inspiration to bloggers everywhere.

[Fox News / TPM / Twitchy / RedState]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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