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Sadness Abounds: CPAC To Be Less Sexxxxxy This Year

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Remember how last year's CPAC was teh hotttnesss? You had boys getting drunk and hooking up and passing out. You had ladies showing cleavage. CLEAVAGE! Does all this seem a bit deja vu to you, longtime Wonkians? Probably because Jim Newell mercilessly bashed ErickErickEricksonnnn and Melissa "Imma put Dr. in front of my name because I have a 2-year chiro degree" Clouthier about this last year!


To be fair to CPAC (urgh), at least last year sounded semi-fun for attendees in a sad salaryman business conference sort of way. You're away from home with a bit of free time and maybe you have a little bit of the old zipless fuck, a little stranger sex, and then head home to the rambler and the spouse and the child. It was no Roman orgy, but it was likely tolerable.

NOT THIS YEAR, SLUTS.

CPAC, or at least some lady who is an overinvested dowdy publicist, is ON IT to tell you how not to look like a whore. There's even an infographic we've been kind enough to include below if you want to get your modesty on.

Ladies, what should you wear? Cardigans, blouses, blazers and pumps! What shouldn't you wear? Oh, just a laundry list of things: rompers, halters, shorts, strapless necklines, low-cut tops, miniskirts, leggings. The publicist lady has created an entire fucking Pinterest page of her favorite CPAC-appropriate outfits! Fun!

Menfolk, what should you wear? Blazers, khakis, loafers. There's no handy Pinterest page for you, boys, but basically dress like James O'Keefe or PJ O'Rourke and you'll look fine. Menfolk, what shouldn't you wear? Jeans, t-shirts, leggings. If you can crawl into a pair of pants made of twill and pull a golf shirt over your head, you're good.

Takeaway: dudes, please don't look like horrible slobs. Ladies, please stop being such whore-ish temptresses and cover your damn selves up.

[Washington City Paper/Pinterest]

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Deleted Comments: We Gave God The Banhammer

The Commentczar's In Town

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Yr Wonkette has been getting quite a few visits from trolls lately, although most of the infestations have been incredibly tiresome and not at all worth discussing here. We're talking, like, not even as good as ol' Turgid Love Muscle Guy. Come to think of it, we haven't seen him in a while; hope he's OK. At least health-wise.

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In 2006, Bob Casey Jr., then the Pennsylvania state treasurer, defeated Rick Santorum and took his seat in the US Senate; presumably only after having it steam cleaned. Not that Casey wanted anything much to do with Dan Savage, the columnist who had helpfully made the alternative definition of "Santorum" one of the best demonstrations of the power of trolling for the prior three years. But in '06, Casey's campaign actually declined a donation from Savage; Casey's finance director thanked him, but suggested maybe Savage could give the money to a group working against Santorum so Casey wouldn't get flak for taking the donation. That was back when Dems were happy to talk about civil unions but frightened of gay marriage, and Casey just plain wussed out on the chance to bring a "weeks-long debate about feces, lube, and assfucking" to the Senate race, as then-Wonket Dave Weigel put it. But Bob Casey has come rather a long way since then, and he now supports marriage equality. He might still be a bit shy about a full-on embrace of buttsechs talk, however.

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