Sally Yates Is Back With A Vengeance. Your Wonkagenda For Mon., May 08, 2017
Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.
- Portland, Oregon, don't forget to come see us TONIGHT! The editrix, Shypixel and Wonkette Baby will bring the meat (bring your own tofus!) to Mt. Tabor Park, picnic area A, from 5 to 7 p.m. (and usually just a tiny bit longer). See you there unless we see you first!
- Former acting attorney general Sally Yates is expected to tell the Senate how she was You're Fired after trying to warn people about actual literal foreign agent Mike Flynn and all his Not American money.
- HEY! Are you a wealthy Chinese business magnate having trouble obtaining a U.S. visa? For the low, low price of half-a-million Ameros (and an investment in President Kushner's real estate property) YOU TOO can get a golden ticket!
- Reince Preibus went on teevee to say Trump's White House hasn't decided on whether or not they'll cut the Office of National Drug Control Policy since hillbilly heroin addicts will give all their money to pharmaceutical companies before they die.
- House Republicans are being yelled at by their constituents during a series of town halls (AGAIN), and I can't. imagine. why.
- Trump is expected to begin stuffing lower courts full of conservative judges since Congress spent the better part of the last decade doing fuck-all but their jobs.
- The EPA has You're Fired about half-a-dozen scientists from a climate advisory board in favor of industry representatives, like a bunch of drunken wolves in a hen house.
- REXXON is promising that Foggy Bottom will be so much better after he gets done breaking apart the State Department with a rusty oil pipeline.
- Virginia's gubernatorial race is already a shit show after good ol' boy Corey Stewart continues to defend the Confederate flag, and drag the other Republican candidates down.
- Texas has banned sanctuary cities, so now Texans will have to find a Trump Tower(s) for their taco bowl Tuesdays.
- Trump's Tortilla Curtain is facing some unlikely resistance in Texas as landowners wonder why a Republican would suddenly try to take their American freedom to own land.
- Emmanuel Macron stomped all over Marine Le Pen's hopes of restoring Nazi powers to France. HURRAY!
- Now that it's been punched in the face like so many a Nazi, the French National Front will re-brand itself to become more appealing to alt-racisits.
- North Korea seems to have been working hard for the money selling cigarettes, guns, and fake Ameros to Not America while North Korean hackers have been busy stealing money on the Internet.
- Tomi Laharen can't wait to get back on teevee or the Inter-Face-Tubes so that she can increase her unpopularity. Oh, that poor bleached snowflake.
- Boston's NPR affiliate had an interview with a golf person that's about as boring as golf itself - until you get to the part where Eric Trump claims to have access to "all the funding [they] need out of Russia." That boy just ain't right.
- There's a new tech start-up initiative for down-ballot Democrats that's led by former Obama people, like one of the Pod Save America guys.
- This year's Samuel J. Heyman Service to America Medal finalists have been announced, and they're a monument to the sacrifices and good deeds done by public servants, and an example of why a robust federal workforce is important to a large, clunky democracy.
- During an award ceremony Sunday night at the JFK Presidential Library and Museum in Boston, Obama said, "it takes great courage to champion the vulnerable and sick and the infirm." Oh, Bamz, you still got it!
- And here's your late night wrap-up! John Oliver explained why NET NEUTRALITY IS REALLY FUCKING IMPORTANT; Colbert wondered how sweaty Pence would get when meeting sexy aliens; Bill Maher made an argument against "liberal purists" that is really for real worth your time; Chelsea Handler talked about fancy book learnin' times; and SNL wondered about Joe and Mika's sexxy on-set sex shenanigans
- And here's your morning Nice Time! Baby goats dancing on a roof! Oh, baby goats! You so silly!
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