Sandy Berger's Sock Stuffing: Another Theory
The Note, in its infinite wisdom, asks, "Since several news organizations reported that Berger put documents in his socks, and attributed it to government sources, and Berger's spokespeople denied it — what are we to make of that?"
Well. We can think of a couple of possibilities. One: The Bush administration is fibbing (shock horror!), and trying to extend the life of the story by involving additional items of clothing. Two: Sandy Berger wears uniquely large socks. We picture them as having those little suspender contraptions attached.
But we think the gigantic sock scenario (hereafter GSS) unlikely. Let's face it: Sort of absentmindedly wedging something in your pants is completely understandable. With the GSS, you have to really make an effort. You have to reach down. Pants can be an on-the-fly stuffing event, whereas you have to really want to put something in your socks. And if something winds up in your ass -- like, say, the FBI finds it there during a routine strip search -- you can always say you "fell on it." Not so with socks.
Berger's lawyer is now vigorously denying the pants-stuffing allegation as well: "If there's a suggestion that he's shoving things down his pants, that is categorically false and ridiculous," but that assertion seems awfully broad. Everyone shoves things down their pants at some point. You know how it is: You go out to read a few secret documents, you have a couple of drinks, the lights are low and the music is playing. . . things happen.