Sarah Palin Just Yelled 'Hoohah!' And Now Our Week Is Complete

HOOHAH!
HOOHAH!
So what's gotten Sarah Palin all splodey sploding "HOOHAH!" everywhere? Oh, just this article about Donald Trump's pick for secretary of Defense, retired Marine Gen. James Mattis, that lists some typical shouty man Marine quotes from the man. They make Palin 'scited enough to say "HOOHAH!", you know, like Marines always say. HOOHAH!
Here's one of those quotes:
“When you men get home and face an anti-war protester, look at him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend because she knows she’s dating a p****” (Ed. -- the word with the asterisks is "pussy," which is the thing Donald Trump grabs, probably while he says "HOOHAH!")
Marines are always such Marines about everything.
Here's another quote:
“You go into Afghanistan, you got guys who slap women around for five years because they didn’t wear a veil. You know, guys like that ain’t got no manhood left anyway. So it’s a hell of a lot of fun to shoot them. Actually it’s quite fun to fight them, you know. It’s a hell of a hoot. It’s fun to shoot some people. I’ll be right up there with you. I like brawling.”
The guy is definitely quotable! HOOHAH!
This is a good time to note that Marines do not say "HOOHAH!" actually. They say "OOH RAH!" In the Army, they say "HOOAH!" There is no branch of the American armed forces that yells vaginal euphemisms as a battle cry, and when Hillary Clinton told those Navy SEALs to kill Bin Laden, not even one of them yelled "WIZARD SLEEVE!" or "FUN TUNNEL!" (OR DID THEY?)
But Sarah Palin does, we guess.
While we're quoting Mattis, who, yes, says fighty shit like that (but not "HOOHAH!"), we should note that he's also said a few things in his time Trump and his idiot supporters would do well to listen to. Like how about this?
"You cannot allow any of your people to avoid the brutal facts. If they start living in a dream world, it's going to be bad."
Hear that, fuckers? You LOST the popular vote, like really fucking bad, three million illegals did NOT vote in California, and the majority of Americans think you're a bunch of embarrassing morons. You cannot avoid those brutal facts.
"A country that armed Stalin to defeat Hitler can certainly work alongside enemies of Al Qaeda to defeat Al Qaeda."
Guess it's a bit more complicated than BOMB THE SHIT OUT OF 'EM, Donald!
"The most important 6 inches on the battlefield is between your ears."
HAHAHAHAHA, we like that one. Trump would do well to note that he shouldn't be intimidated by talk of "6 inches," and also that it happens to all guys, honest.
Anyway, everybody have a great weekend, and remember to be like Sarah Palin and yell "HOOHAH!" at stuff, because that's normal.
Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.
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