Sad Bristol Palin Forced To Dance Terribly Without Her Terrible Mom
Important grandma Sarah Palin was supposed to fly to LA last night to watch her daughter dance around like a common strumpet -- even though Sarah would have been in constant danger of being assassinated by Hamas. Did you stay up all night long, fretting like a worrywart about Sarah Palin's safety? That was very kind of you but also unnecessary, because Sarah decided it would be best if she just stayed home and watched reruns of Law & Order. She probably doesn't even know (or care) that Bristol lost her dance show. Sarah Palin probably thinks that she can look out her dining room window and see her daughter dancing like the brightest star in Hollywood, or maybe just watch the YouTube in this post, on her favorite "twitter blog."
Sarah Palin was a no-show at the Los Angeles premiere of Dancing With the Stars.
But she rooted her daughter, Bristol, on from her home in Wasilla, Alaska.
"Over-the-moon excited and happy for Bristol! Cheering her on @ DWTS party in the Palin living room," Twittered the former Alaska Governor, along with a photo of a group of family and friends watching the show.
Oh dear god, Sarah Palin has endorsed Bristol on Twitter. (What a terrible mother.) Also, Bristol danced terribly to a song about, uh, whiskey? Gettin' pregnant while all liquored up? Where are America's morals? (They are dead, like Jesus.) [The Hollywood Reporter]