Sarah Palin Wroted Her Own Bible
Have you ever wondered to yourself, "Self, how can you be more better at failing life, like Sarah Palin?" Of course not, but someone in the publishing world figures there issome self out there, a-ponderin' where Palin found the inspiration to quit all the things, fail all the stuffs, drunk-stutter all the words, and have all the accidental out-of-wedlock grandbabies. So here you go, America, here is your book of biblical Hot Takes, from Alaska's greatest grifter queen:
In Sweet Freedom, Sarah Palin invites you to draw strength and inspiration from 260 meditations based on guiding Biblical verses. You are not alone in your doubts and anxieties—we all bear the burdens of everyday stresses, and for most of us, our concerns spread beyond our selves to our families, communities, and country. But Palin shows that with abiding faith, and by opening ourselves to the truths that have saved mankind for generations, we can thrive—and experience true freedom.
It's also available in leather (ball gag sold separately) and as an audiobook, for those of her children who are bad with the word-reading, which is -- say it with us, it's mandatory -- OH, ALL OF 'EM KATIE!
Unfortunately, there are no reviews of the book yet, although customers who have pre-ordered it also bought Palin's earlier "works," a hard-covered rat turd by Ted Cruz, and oh sweet Joshua Harold Christ, Bill O'Reilly's psychotic historical fiction, Killing Reagan.
Well, actually, there is one review: Bristol's ghostblogger is real tingly about it.
Will you let me brag about my mom a bit? In addition to being a former Governor, the first female GOP Vice Presidential candidate, and a great mom and grandmother, she’s a best selling author.
I’m so happy to announce that she’s got a new book out, like none that she’s ever written. It’s called, "Sweet Freedom: A Devotional."
[Description of the book from Amazon, since Bristol's ghostblogger hasn't had a chance to listen to the CD yet.]
Doesn’t that sound, well, inspirational?
We know it's unfair to judge a book by its cover, but in this case, it seems safe to assume we'd be more inspired reading the directions on a box of ex-lax®. Frankly, the thought of Palin lackeys searching Bing for Bible quotes she can read aloud on a book tour -- until, pursuant to Palin custom, she quits the tour halfway through -- to then say "freedom" and "liberty" and "Obama sucks" make us want to take a whole box of ex-lax®.
We didn't know it was physically possible for Sarah Palin to become even lazier in her grifting, but collecting a bunch of words she didn't write, slapping her face on it, and calling it a book is an impressive new low. Grift on, grizzly mama, grift on.