Sassy Tweets From Brands To Customers! Tabs, Wed., Oct. 6, 2021

Sassy Tweets From Brands To Customers! Tabs, Wed., Oct. 6, 2021
Tabs gifs by your friend Martini Ambassador!

I just don't understand anything today.

I don't understand what is going on with Chris Cillizza, who for the second time in a row wrote something that wasn't stupid and wrong, this time about Mike Pence and the January 6 insurrection. (CNN)

I don't get why all the school boards are trying to infect all the school children's precious bodily fluids. — UpnorthnewsWI

Looking at you, Cobb County schools. (ProPublica)

I totally get why Montana Gov. Greg Gianforte is sitting on almost $2 billion in Biden Bux for childcare, worker training, and utility assistance: He doesn't want things to get better until Republicans can get the credit. (KTVH)

What the Facebook whistleblower said, since I didn't watch it and still don't know since I haven't read it. — Vox

I understand the words in this story about a football boss man ... having an affair with his leggy quarterback? ... about as well as an apolitical person would understand the words in any random Wonkette post. (Yahoo Sports)

I don't know who this ESPN lady is, but she has an awesome name and seems like she sucks? — The Root

I know who Susan Collins is, she's this lady right here saying that IF Democrats agree to stop trying to do President Joe Biden's agenda, the Republicans might not filibuster raising the debt ceiling to pay for the stuff Republicans already voted into law and spent, and avert a global depression. No, I don't understand why she's like that or more importantly why the media thinks this is all awesome fun "games." (Business Insider)

Who else sucks? Everyone in this New York Times story about the lady who demands to know why you're not liking her Facebook posts, she thought you were friends, and the other lady who wrote an entire novella about the first lady and how donating a kidney means she is a terrible person, and racist to boot, but at least I understand the milieu: crazy people who want you to love them and the withholding people who will punish them for that, and the people who will hire lawyers to punish them for punishing them, and all their friends who are mean bitches. What a grand old world. (NYT)

PS: Everybody in town hated Alice Munro for writing about all their sordid shit. — Toronto Star

Lisa Rinna is being sued for like a million bucks for posting paparazzi pix of herself on her Instagram, which is why I now have this 2016 lawsuit tab open from when photographer Carol Highsmith sued Getty Images for A BILLION DOLLARS for trying to charge her for using her own pictures, which Getty did not own but huffed anyway that it had some sort of right to charge (her) to distribute (to her). Anyway, I need a copyright lawyer at the moment, if anyone's holding. (Old lawsuit)

I don't understand what New York City just did to beat up on poor poor Grubhub and Door Dash, but the interview with Moe Tkacik about how they're really just payday lenders made some sort of sense! I don't know, our town has one taxi, I don't know if it would bring us food, if we had restaurants. — New Yorker

Nods with supreme self-satisfaction: "The most successful media companies recognize the importance of delivering world-class user experiences and building relationships with their audiences. Those relationships are best measured by metrics, such as the size of their opt-in subscriber databases, the number of returning versus new visitors to their site, website churn rate, visitor session length, social engagement and the like." Anyway, some "ad experts" (LOL) say things about "Ozy Media," which was apparently a big fat fraud that came undone this weekend and that's all I know about that. (Ad Exchanger)

This Idaho lieutenant governor lady sending all the National Guard to Me-hee-co while the governor's out of state. Hmmm, boy, I don't know! (KIVI-TV)

Man going to buy a lot of cocaine. Yeah, I can dig it. — HuffPost

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