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Scary Protesters Chase G8 Summit From Chicago To Camp David

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Hippies, or should we say "people affected and insulted by the total lack of accountability in the global economic system following its collapse a few years ago," were all excited about the upcoming G8 Summit of first-world leaders set to take place in Chicago this May. What a great opportunity to yell at terrible people, right? Well now our dear leader, President Obama, has moved the summit to his mountain ranch at Camp David, Maryland, where hippies will be kept miles away and murdered on the Antietam battlefield.


Chicago cops have been "going through extensive extra training for the NATO/G8 summits" recently after "two groups of demonstrators... announced plans to march down Michigan Avenue in the midday hours." Well, now they only have to worry about the NATO summit, because the silk-trousered G8 flaneurs will be jacking each other off at Camp David, instead. Go get your "Battle for Seattle" on elsewhere, scum!

From the Chicago Tribune:

The G-8 economic summit will be held at Camp David, not in Chicago as had been scheduled.

The White House announced the change in the following statement:

"In May, the United States looks forward to hosting the G-8 and NATO Summits. To facilitate a free-flowing discussion with our close G-8 partners, the president is inviting his fellow G-8 leaders to Camp David on May 18-19 for the G-8 Summit, which will address a broad range of economic, political and security issues.

Is this a victory for the presumed protesters? Let's see what some liberal on Twitter has to say. Ah, Richard Kim, executive editor of The Nation, you're good enough. What do you have to say? "Is G8 move to Camp David really a victory? Now G8 will be more secretive, less open to protest and media scrutiny." Indeed, if no one ever bothered to plan protests, everything would've worked out much better. (??).

[Chicago Tribune]

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