Scotland Yard Arrests Julian Assange For Unsafe Swedish Sexytime


London's famous Metropolitan Police?

  • The Metropolitan Police arrested Julian Assange this morning in London, on suspicion of not wearing a condom in Sweden. (What?) This whole debacle is very quickly developing into some sort of unfortunate James Bond Romcom Bollywood Thriller. One of Assange's accusers has ties to the CIA, and WikiLeaks has threatened to release the key to a 1.4-gigabyte encrypted file that "contains a 'deluge' of secret information," if anything should happen to their beloved Australian Sex Machine. Meanwhile, righteous basement dwellers Anonymous launched a successful DDOS attack against Switzerland Post Finance, the Swiss bank that recently froze an account being used for Assange's legal defense fund. What a clusterfuck! Assange will appear before a London court sometime today. UPDATE: Assange has been denied bail and remains in British custody. Now he is being charged with sexing a lady while she was sleeping? [NYT/VOA]
  • South Korea is building a massive island "fortress" near North Korea. This can only end poorly. [WaPo]

  • Israel is extremely upset at Argentina for recognizing "a Palestinian state in territories Israel occupied in 1967," because how were they able to recognize it? All that bulldozing and white phosphorous should have made it completely unrecognizable. [AP]


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