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The unflushable Scott Pruitt has poked his nose out of the bowl again to remind us that Ryan Zinke will never break his record. The Wolf of Whitefish may have successfully murdered the environment for fun and profit, but for sheer audacity, numbers of scandals, creative scamming, and tawdry personal entanglements, Pruitt will always have him beat. Does Ryan Zinke have a used Trump hotel spunk mattress? I think fucking not!

So what's Lil' Scotty done this time? Well, after he got a 91-day extension on his homework, he finally submitted his public financial disclosure report. And it is SPECIAL. Turns out he's taking great wads of cash for his legal defense fund from billionaire donors.

Just how big was that wad?

Someone handed Pruitt $50,000 cash to pay his lawyers to defend him against charges that he took a sweetheart apartment deal from a guy who lobbies the EPA, stole government time by having his employees buy him lotion and go house hunting, fired whistleblowers, hired his pals from Oklahoma for no-show jobs, pressured lobbyists to give his wife a job, and the dozen other scandals which we have already forgotten? Cool, cool.


Did Pruitt actually use the cash to pay his lawyers? Because it looks like Pruitt is still on the hook for somewhere between $115,000 and $300,000 in legal fees, since the Democratic Oversight Funtimes hearings haven't even started yet..

Here's hoping Mrs. Hendricks, the multi-billionaire owner of ABC Supply Co., has another million rattling around the bottom of her purse for the former EPA Administrator.

Awwww, we're just funnin'! Mrs. H is always there to help out a fellow Gipper in trouble. She gave $5 million in 2015 to Scott Walker's presidential PAC, and another $5 million in 2016 to an anti-Hillary super PAC that supported Wisconsin Senator Ron Johnson, earning her a spot as an economic advisor to the Trump Campaign. And Hendricks knows how to build her wealth by avoiding personal income taxes. So, cheer up, Scoots, with a Sugar Momma like that, you're probably in the clear! You'll be back to coal rolling like a carefree kid in no time.

upload.wikimedia.org

And Ryan Zinke will have to get up pretty early in the morning if he wants to unseat Pruitt as the undisputed King of Grift.

YOU'RE NUMBER ONE! AT BEING NUMBER TWO!

[Pruitt Disclosure / WaPo]

Follow your FDF on Twitter!

Sadly, Mrs. H has rebuffed requests for wads of cash from Yr Wonkette. Won't you be our Sugar Momma? Seriously, Rebecca's in a fuckin' MOOD.

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Five Dollar Feminist

Your FDF lives in Baltimore under an assumed identity as an upstanding member of the PTA. Shhh, don't tell anyone she makes swears on the internet!

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Oh good, Jared Kushner decided to pick today to come out from the hidey hole where he back channels with Russians and the Saudi Murder Prince while lustily fingering the security clearance unlawfully procured for him by an unelected president.

That's just super.

It was at the Time 100 event, not because Jared was on the Time 100 this year, but we guess because he was on it in 2017. His profile back then was written by Henry Kissinger, who predicted he would be a "success." We guess this happened during a part of the event called "The Time 100's Biggest Bloopers, OMG" ... oh wait, hold on, Wonkette has just been informed that Time was being serious when it invited Jared.

Our bad.

Say something stupid in reaction to the release of the Mueller Report, J-Kush:

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We swear that John Cornyn is an honest-to-goodness US senator. Yet this is what the Texas Republican (or at least his campaign team) is tweeting while serious people are discussing impeaching the president.

Team Cornyn's tweet quickly found itself a resident of Ratio-ville, where the presiding mayor is Howard Schultz. But why did this crack team of political savants scour Twitter for old-ass tweets from one of the new Mads on "Mystery Science Theater 3000"? Is Patton Oswalt running for Senate? He's certainly more fit for office than Donald Trump. No, apparently, the comedian is just a supporter of a Senate candidate. Democrat MJ Hegar just launched her campaign today to unseat Cornyn in 2020, and Team Cornyn's rapid response was to attack someone who once said nice things about her. Seriously, they have no other connection.

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