Scott Pruitt Passes The Plate, Pockets The Cash
The unflushable Scott Pruitt has poked his nose out of the bowl again to remind us that Ryan Zinke will never break his record. The Wolf of Whitefish may have successfully murdered the environment for fun and profit, but for sheer audacity, numbers of scandals, creative scamming, and tawdry personal entanglements, Pruitt will always have him beat. Does Ryan Zinke have a used Trump hotel spunk mattress? I think fucking not!
So what's Lil' Scotty done this time? Well, after he got a 91-day extension on his homework, he finally submitted his public financial disclosure report. And it is SPECIAL. Turns out he's taking great wads of cash for his legal defense fund from billionaire donors.
Just how big was that wad?
Someone handed Pruitt $50,000 cash to pay his lawyers to defend him against charges that he took a sweetheart apartment deal from a guy who lobbies the EPA, stole government time by having his employees buy him lotion and go house hunting, fired whistleblowers, hired his pals from Oklahoma for no-show jobs, pressured lobbyists to give his wife a job, and the dozen other scandals which we have already forgotten? Cool, cool.
Did Pruitt actually use the cash to pay his lawyers? Because it looks like Pruitt is still on the hook for somewhere between $115,000 and $300,000 in legal fees, since the Democratic Oversight Funtimes hearings haven't even started yet..
Here's hoping Mrs. Hendricks, the multi-billionaire owner of ABC Supply Co., has another million rattling around the bottom of her purse for the former EPA Administrator.
Awwww, we're just funnin'! Mrs. H is always there to help out a fellow Gipper in trouble. She gave $5 million in 2015 to Scott Walker's presidential PAC, and another $5 million in 2016 to an anti-Hillary super PAC that supported Wisconsin Senator Ron Johnson, earning her a spot as an economic advisor to the Trump Campaign. And Hendricks knows how to build her wealth by avoiding personal income taxes. So, cheer up, Scoots, with a Sugar Momma like that, you're probably in the clear! You'll be back to coal rolling like a carefree kid in no time.
And Ryan Zinke will have to get up pretty early in the morning if he wants to unseat Pruitt as the undisputed King of Grift.
YOU'RE NUMBER ONE! AT BEING NUMBER TWO!
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Sadly, Mrs. H has rebuffed requests for wads of cash from Yr Wonkette. Won't you be our Sugar Momma? Seriously, Rebecca's in a fuckin' MOOD.
Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.