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Screw White Olds' Tea Party, Latinos Starting Tequila Party

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There are many actual "Mexican-looking people" who live alongside their humorless Teabagger neighbors always crowding Arizona's legislative agenda with endless bills to outlaw brown skin, a project which brown-skinned people mysteriously do not appreciate. Luckily for people who do not love ethnic warfare, however, some of these Latino people are both tired of this and have a sense of humor about it, so they started the "Tequila Party." We seem to remember having joined a "Tequila Party" last weekend, so apparently they already got our vote!


"Sip don't shoot" is our tequila mantra. Hey, that is not a bad slogan, if you do not want the gun lobby's support. Did we want them anyway? No, they are all at the "Tea Party," which is boring and ended at 6 o' clock.

From NPR:

Arizona Republican DeeDee Garcia Blase formed the National Tequila Party Movement as an answer to a Tea Party influence she blames for increased political opposition to immigration.

The group has no aspirations to become a third political party. Its focus will be registering as many of the nation's 21 million voting-age Latinos as it can, targeting young voters in presidential battleground states.

Unlike the Tea Party groups, which have generally aligned with Republicans, the Tequila Party pledges no allegiance to either major party. Blase has dropped her affiliation as a lifelong Republican — and plans to resign as president of Somos Republicans — to protest the Republican-led immigration enforcement law passed in her home state of Arizona. The Tequila Party held its launch party in Tucson last month.

Does WALNUTS know about this yet? We feel like this is a good place for him to put some color back in those old flaccid jowls. WALNUTS/ TEQUILA WORM 2012! VIVA!!! [NPR]

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If there is one thing that decrepit "rocker" Ted Nugent hates, it is gun-free zones. Over the years, he has insisted that they are very dangerous and pretty much the number one cause of mass shootings. They caused Columbine and mean "more body bags" and "more crime" and even "workplace violence"! They are "killing fields"! THEY ARE ALL THE BAD THINGS!

You see where we're going with this right?

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Oh hey, Maria Butina the Russian spy lady, you are still in jail!

Butina, who was arrested Sunday for being a Russian spy who infiltrated the NRA in order to infiltrate the GOP for her motherland, is supposed to appear in court this afternoon, and in advance of that, prosecutors have filed a really fun motion listing all the reasons Butina should be required to STAY IN JAIL until her trial, at which point she will be found guilty as a common Paul Manafort and have to go to so much more jail. In short, it is because she is a major flight risk, but the document is a much better read than that, and it has boning. Shall we give it a look?

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