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Scumbag Has-Been John Edwards Maybe About To Admit To Fathering That Poor Baby

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From his teevee-anchor dyed & blow-dried hair to his repulsive stucco fortress on a million acres of North Carolina scraped dirt, everything about the ambulance-chasing personal injury attorney has always cried FRAUD, but the most disgusting part about Edwards was his phony public displays of fucky love for his poor (yet fantastically rich) old wife, who always has cancer.


And now, local sources tell us, the stupid yearlong melodrama around Edwards' hippie girlfriend and bastard love-child and jackass lackey pretending to be the baby's father and some now-dead gazillionaire paying off the lady (because John-John just couldn't afford it!) has finally almost ended, and the shit-bird will supposedly 'fess up today, on the teevee. [WRAL]

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I wasn't ready for Koko the gorilla to die. She was just 46, so still young well past the upper age limit for a gorilla, but I'll miss her. She loved cats, told mildly amusing jokes, and put up with people, so she was a lot like your weird aunt.

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Donald Trump held one of his televised cabinet meetings today in which he railed about the terrible Democrats who forced the current border crisis (at a time when illegal border crossings are actually lower than usual). In what's sure to be his favorite phrase on Twitter for the next few days, Trump blamed "extremist open-border Democrats" for all the problems he brought on himself with his family separation policy, and explained that Democrats were simultaneously hurting illegal immigrants AND the rest of America by forcing Normal America to accept Central Americans who fled to the US. It made loads of sense! And then things got ... less so.

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