Sean Hannity Leaving New York Because Mean Gov. Cuomo Doesn't Love 'Extreme Conservatives' Enough
Sean Hannityhas announced that he will be leaving his home state of New York forever because Gov. Andrew Cuomo said very mean things last week about how conservatives are simply not welcome in the state. Of course, Cuomo didn't exactly say that, and Hannity will have to take a little time to pack, but this is it, he's definitely had it, and is going to move somewhere that appreciates him, like Texas or Florida or maybe Paraguay in the 1970s.
In an interview on a public radio show Friday, Cuomo was discussing internal divisions within the Republican party when he said Republicans are "searching to define their soul,” and asked,
"Is the Republican Party in this state a moderate party or is it an extreme conservative party. That is what they are trying to figure out ... Are they these extreme conservative, right to life, pro assault weapon, anti-gay? Is that who they are? Because if that’s who they are, and if they are the extreme conservatives, they have no place in the state of New York. Because that’s not who New Yorkers are. If they are moderate Republicans, like in the Senate right now, who control the Senate - moderate Republicans have a place in this state.”
After the New York Post reported the comments with the completely accurate headline "Gov. Cuomo to conservatives: Leave NY!" the governor's office released a statement Monday explaining that Cuomo was saying that extreme conservative candidates weren't likely to be successful in New York, not that he was calling for a purge of the population:
If you read the transcript (below), it is clear that the Governor was making the observation that an extreme right candidate cannot win statewide because this is a politically moderate state (either moderate Republican or moderate Democratic).
In the same response, the Governor went on to say “it is fine” to be anti-gun control, and anti-choice – as he respects both positions.
Context, schmontext, says the eternally butthurt wingnuttosphere: he said conservatives "have no place in the state of New York," and that is exactly like Hitler and Stalin and Pol Pot all rolled together, no matter what other words surrounded that. It's kind of like how the Second Amendment's first thirteen words don't actually exist.
And so poor oppressed Sean Hannity has had it with the hellhole that New York has become:
“Now I want to tell you something – I was born and raised in New York,” Hannity said. “I want you to know that and I can’t wait to get out of here. I really can’t. I don’t want to pay their 10-percent state tax anymore. I live in the second-highest property taxed county in the entire country in Nassau County. I can’t wait to sell my house to somebody who wants it. I can’t wait to pay no state income tax down in Florida or Texas. I haven’t decided yet, but I’m leaning Florida because I like the water and I like to fish.”
And that's not all, Mister "Governor," if you even think you're worthy of the title -- Sean is looking forward to causing you some pain, because he is taking all of his money -- that's right, the Sean Hannity empire that your stupid blue state has been sucking the lifeblood out of for years -- and it's going with him. And that's not all!
“Gov. Cuomo, I’m going to leave and I’m taking all of my money with me – every single solitary penny,” he added. “And by the way governor, because I work here – there’s a whole bunch of people that work for me and benefit because I do two shows. And I guess maybe some of them will be out of work, governor. I’m sure you’ll take care of them.”
Yay, that will show Governor Cuomo! It's as if Hannity can hardly wait to start sharing the pain he feels by handing out pink slips. A whole bunch of people are soon going to be out of a job, and that will really teach Andrew Cuomo a lesson about what wonderful decent people extreme conservatives are.
If you don't follow Doktor Zoom on Twitter, you don't belong on the Internet at all.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.