Sean Spicer Super Sorry For Lying About British Spies, Guesses He Won't Do It Again

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The Trump White House has had to do a Formal Apology to Britain, just because White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer baselessly lied on Thursday, from his podium, and said British spy agency GHCQ had done secret "wire tapps" to Donald Trump, on behalf of Barack Obama:

Intelligence sources told The Telegraph that both Mr Spicer and General [H.R.] McMaster, the US National Security Adviser, have apologised over the claims. "The apology came direct from them," a source said.

General McMaster contacted Sir Mark Lyall Grant, the Prime Minister's National Security adviser, to apologise for the comments. Mr Spicer conveyed his apology through Sir Kim Darroch, Britain's US ambassador.

That's right, they said sorry PERSONALLY. We bet they had to write letters on construction paper with glitter and everything. Additionally, NBC's Peter Alexander reports that the White House promises it won't say this particular lie ever again.

How did we get to here? You know, the usual. On Wednesday and Thursday, Republicans, including those on the House and Senate Intelligence Committees, pissed all over Donald Trump's made-up theory that Barack Obama did secret illegal "wire tapps" to him at Trump Tower, making various statements that can be collectively shortened to read "cough BULLSHIT! cough."

So naturally, when it was time for Sean Spicer to do his daily TV time with reporters, naturally, he said, "OK, OK, no more screwing around, we were wrong about that," and tried to spin it to at least make the president look better, right? Haha no, because C.J. Cregg he is not. Instead he got into a FIGHT with reporters about "YUH HUH DID TOO!" and in the process lobbed the accusation at GHCQ, saying it secretly spied on Trump for Obama.

Here, if you haven't seen the video, it will entertain you. The pertinent quote is printed below:

... [O]n Fox News, on March 14th, Judge Andrew Napolitano made the following statement, quote, “Three intelligence sources have informed Fox News that President Obama went outside the chain of command. He didn't use the NSA, he didn't use the CIA, he didn't use the FBI and he didn't use the Department of Justice. He used GCHQ. What is that? It's the initials for the British intelligence finding agency. So, simply by having two people saying to them president needs transcripts of conversations involving candidate Trump's conversations, involving president-elect Trump, he's able to get it and there's no American fingerprints on this. Putting the published accounts and common-sense together, this leads to a lot.

Do you see how the Trump regime literally pulled that out of their collective B-hole? Trump and his minions watch and read Fake News a lot, the kind that is made up by Fox or Breitbart or the Stupidest Man On The Internet, Jim Hoft. Because they are all walking, farting prime examples of the Dunning-Kruger effect, they have literally no idea the stuff they are reading is not true. So this particular example of made-up "news" for idiots who can't think good came from Judge Andrew Napolitano on "Fox & Friends" (Trump's favorite cartoon!), who said, based on his conversations with "intelligence officials" (Rudy Giuliani or something?) that Barack Obama secretly and illegally went to British intelligence all by himself and begged GHCQ to do secret "wire tapps" on Donald Trump.

So hooray, another conspiracy theory made its way through the meth-addled brains of the right wing fever swamps, was spit out by Fox News, and was repeated by the White House. And now the Trump regime is having to stick its tail between its legs and say "sorry" to the nice British spies it talked dishonest shit about. Totally normal day in Trump's America, unfortunately.

Thursday night, GCHQ actually issued official statements to the media (which is such a normal thing spies always do), calling bullroar! and codswallop! on Spicer's allegations:

And hooray, FOR ONCE, the Trump White House has actually had to apologize and promise it will not lie about this one particular thing ever again. (Hilarious fact: Fox News reported on this whole "Say sorry to the nice Britishes" story. Failed to mention it was the Fox News bullshit train that started the story in the first place. WINNING!)

The White House will, of course, continue with all its other lies, because these fuckers wouldn't know the truth if it pissed on them in a Moscow hotel room at the Miss Universe pageant in 2013.

The end.

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[The TelegraphWashington Post]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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