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Sec. Of State's Husband Already Holding Long, Secret Chats With Putin At Private Forums

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Bill Clinton is, without question, going to ruin the world at some point during his wife's tenure as Secretary of State. Although some may call this "Clinton Derangement Syndrome," or whatever the cool term is these days for completely distrusting two people in everything they do, let's check out Bill Clinton's first big action after promising to keep a lower profile: getting drunk with Putin at the Davos World Economic Forum, and then holding a long chat with him in a private room guarded by Secret Service agents!


Really, is this not the single sketchiest thing you could imagine Clinton doing a mere week after his wife became the head of America's international relationships department? Sure, he's a major figure and could be useful diplomatically -- perhaps he had a message to deliver! WHO KNOWS -- but at least make him register as an official State Dept. envoy or something, rather than this private, drunk insanity:

Upon arriving here on Wednesday afternoon, he conducted a series of quiet meetings with foreign leaders that culminated in an intense late-night discussion with Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin. The two former presidents met at a Sheraton hotel where Putin held a private party, following an early evening reception at a local museum hosted by Clinton.

Putin greeted Clinton cordially as "our good friend" as they raised glasses of vodka and then listened to a pianist pound out "In the Hall of the Mountain King." When the musical entertainment concluded, they moved to a table in a separate room with access strictly controlled by Secret Service and Russian security agents. Flanked by aides and an interpreter, the two men talked for nearly 90 minutes before they rose and walked out together for a few pictures with partygoers and members of Clinton's entourage.

Clinton will soon announce that Putin is our greatest ally and we should give him weapons, for Freedom, and then he will run to the nearest bank to deposit an anonymous $1,000,000,000 donation to his "Foundation" fund.

Bill and Vladimir [New York Observer]

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HOLY ACHTUNG TWITTER IS FREAKING OUT! Special Counsel Robert Mueller's office (SCO) has issued a statement, almost 24 full hours after Buzzfeed's story on Donald Trump ordering Michael Cohen to lie to Congress about the failed Trump Tower Moscow deal started blowing everybody's minds. Mueller's spokesman says actually BuzzFeed got it a bit wrong. This is significant because 1) Mueller's office NEVER talks, and B) well, they're not actually saying BuzzFeed got it WRONG wrong. Just, you know, kinda wrong.

Wow, that statement is lawyered as fuck. BuzzFeed described "specific statements" wrong, and its "characterization of documents and testimony" was just an eensy bit off, and maybe if BuzzFeed moved this sofa over here it would take advantage of more natural light in the room, and honestly, BuzzFeed should trim up this one paragraph of its article, because those sentences DO NOT SPARK MARIE KONDO'S JOY.

Otherwise, it's great!

First of all, we want everybody to relax. Donald Trump is still a criminal.

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It's been a joy watching the reactions come in from TrumpWorld about the news that Donald Trump has committed YET ANOTHER CRIME, in this case suborning perjury by instructing his former lawyer thug fixer Michael Cohen to lie to Congress. How many other people did he do that with? WE DUNNO! But that's not what this post is about.

First of all, let's see what the big guy himself did. As with all presidential statements from the un-president, it happened on Twitter:

Oh wait, that's (grapes) not it. Here it is:

That's right, the president of the United States reacted to a bombshell news report exposing that he had tampered with a witness by suborning perjury by ... tampering with that witness some more in public, by threatening his father-in-law! (To be fair, Trump has been trying to intimidate the witness by encouraging the feds to investigate Cohen's father-in-law for a hot minute now. It's one of his things, like tweeting and pooping at the same time and comparing WALL to WHEEL.)

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