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See The Amazing SF Chronicle Front Page That Accidentally Forgot About Gay Marriage! (Update!)

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So here is the San Francisco Chronicle's front page for today. (It is in "print," a thing where they put "ink" on "paper.") You can look and look, but you will not find a story about "gay marriage" on it, in the paper of record for the city so gay Nancy Pelosi's staffers all wear assless chaps, because BART is ONE STEP CLOSER to a WALKOUT!

What are those little top stories above the A-1, for the world and nation fronts? They are: "Australia," "Africa Trip," "Filibuster Star," "Death Penalty," and "Ancient Horse." Okay, so they must have covered it below the fold, right?

No.*

*But they must have done a special section wrap or something, right? DON'T KNOW, because THAT IS NOT THE FRONT PAGE.**

**Reports are flying in from around the country MissTaken and SorosBot and our sister-in-law Casey that OF COURSE the Chron had a special front section -- DOUBLE VICTORY -- complete with pictures of Handsome Gav. We don't know whether to blame Newseum -- FUCK YOU NEWSEUM -- or the Chron itself for not even having a bumper on its front saying "SEE SPECIAL SECTION WHOOHOO" or whatever, but we are fairly certain we will not be blaming ourselves.

[Newseum]

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Bexar County -- Texas, of course -- Sheriff's Deputy Jose Nunez, 46, is facing a minimum of 25 years to life in prison if convicted of sexually abusing the child of an undocumented immigrant. Not only did he abuse the child, who he was reportedly related to, he also decided it would be a great idea to terrorize the mother by threatening to deport her if she told. Apparently too afraid to go to the police department, the mother went to the local fire station seeking help for her abused child.

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Associated Press via ABC- From Bexar County Sheriff's Office
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Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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