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This is the spirit of America right here: A drag queen named "Sherry Vine," who had been busying herself up to this point doingparodies of Lady GaGa videos, answered the call of a weeping nation and decided to teach our Closeted Homosexual Republicans about the virtue of HONESTY, via, of course, a Lady GaGa parody, because hey, that is what this Sherry Vine does.


Now, I'm not one of those GaGa worshipping gaywads, but this is a Good Thing. Herein, Sherry Vine sings and dances with some half naked guys to the tune of Ace of Base's "Don't Turn Around" "Alejandro," but (clever clever!) she changed the title to "You're A Homo." It features many of our favorite gay and allegedly gay Republicans: the ones who tap their toes in the potty (for the purposes of Super Tubing), the ones who are "married to women in the state of Florida," and even the ones whose white pants and pretty pretty princess blue belt have already come out of the closet for them!

The message is simple: If you are a Republican politician and you are also a dirty homosexual, that is actually okay, and you should stop being such lying, hypocritical dickbags about it, let your flames burn bright, and stop hurting people. Also, implied: There is no need to set your penazzled blue belts on fire, probably?

Next week, maybe Sherry Vine will teach the Republicans about which kinds of personal lubricant go best with tri-cornered hats, etc. [The Advocate/YouTube]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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Yesterday afternoon, 45-year-old Gary Martin of Aurora, Illinois was let go from his job at the Henry Pratt Company, a factory that manufactures water valves. In response, he took out a pistol with a laser scope and began shooting at random. He killed five people and injured six others who were just trying to make it through the day at the water valve factory, and then the police killed him.

His mother said he was "stressed out." He "seemed fine" according to the clerk at the Circle K where he bought his cigars that morning. His neighbor thought he was a nice guy. Some people were surprised, others were not.

This kind of thing used to be shocking, but it's a story we're used to now. It gets repeated at least once a month. It's just what happens now, and we can't do anything about it because we can't do anything about gun control. This is, the Right has decided, just the price we all have to pay so they can stockpile guns for funsies, and take sexy pictures of guns shoved in their pants. This is the blood that waters their special tree of liberty.

It's fucking exhausting. And stupid. We shouldn't have to live this way. No one should have to live this way. But we do. Why? Because some day some yahoos might want to overthrow the government, which is (of course) a completely legal thing to do, and their "right" to do that must be protected. So it's literally just never, ever going to stop.

Gary Martin, like most other mass shooters, also had a history of violence against women. In 1994, in Mississippi, he was convicted for stabbing one. He should not have been able to get a gun after that. I would like to know how and why he was able to get that pistol with the laser scope that he killed five people with yesterday afternoon. Maybe someone gave it to him. Maybe he bought it somehow. Maybe someone forgot to do a background check. Maybe he bought it from someone who didn't have to do a background check.

I am so goddamned tired of writing this article. I am out of things to say.

[Sun-Times]

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That's right, Wonkers, while we're all up here in America dealing with the terribleness, your Editrix and her fambly are in MEXICO AT THE BEACH, where they will probably stay for a little while longer or maybe they're never coming back SHRUGGIE EMOTICON. But that's OK, they deserve some time to be AT THE BEACH in MEXICO, oh no, don't get NATIONAL EMERGY CARAVANNED!

Yeah, so it's time to count down your top ten stories of the week, like we do on Saturday mornings. Shall we? WE SHALL.

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