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Semiweekly Suspicious Substance Watch: TERROR ON D 1ST ST.

Panic! Panic!


From: US Capitol Police
Sent: Tuesday, February 07, 2006 3:06 PM
To: All House Staff
Subject: Suspicious Substance Found

This is a message from the U.S. Capitol Police.

The U.S. Capitol Police are responding to a suspicious substance at 310 1st Street, SE.

All staff and other personnel are directed to avoid this area until further notice.

Please do not respond to this e-mail. This mailbox is unattended. End of message.










Today's guess: Glass pipe full of Old Dutch Cleanser.

UPDATE: CODE BLACK! JUST LIKE ON THAT EPISODE OF THAT HOSPITAL SHOW WE DIDN'T WATCH AFTER THE SUPERBOWL! HAZMAT'S HERE!

From: US Capitol Police
Sent: Tuesday, February 07, 2006 3:49 PM
To: All House Staff
Subject: Update- Suspicious Substance

This is a message from the U.S. Capitol Police.

The U.S. Capitol Police are continuing to investigate a suspicious substance at 310 D Street, SE. DC Fire HAZMAT is on the scene.
All staff and other personnel are directed to avoid this area until further notice.

Please do not respond to this e-mail. This mailbox is unattended. End of message.









Considering the location, this ought to put a bit of a damper on the evening plans of those wishing to hit up Hill bars. WE CAN'T LET THE TERRORISTS INTERRUPT HAPPY HOUR.

UPDATE 2: CAPITOL POLICE SCREW UP! THOUSANDS COULD DIE DUE TO TYPO IN EMAIL! WARNINGS SHOW TWO DIFFERENT ADDRESSES!

An operative writes:

anyone can go to 310 First Street right now and see that the RNC (310 First Street) is in lock down and police tape is in front of the building. i don't know why they are saying 310 D Street.
[...]
all emerg staff are on the corner of 1st and D streets (right next to Tortialla Coast)

Once again, thanks to those who actually leave their apartments -- keeping us, if not safe, at least moderately better informed about our impending doom! (Also: the Cap Lounge is still open for business!)

FINAL UPDATE: EVERYTHING'S FINE! YOUR PATH TO TORTILLA COAST IS CLEAR!

From: US Capitol Police
Sent: Tuesday, February 07, 2006 4:50 PM
To: All House Staff
Subject: Suspicious Substance Cleared

This is a message from the U.S. Capitol Police.

The U.S. Capitol Police have cleared the incident at 310 First Street, SE.

All test results were negative. The area has reopened.

Please do not respond to this e-mail. This mailbox is unattended. End of message.










Even though the tests were negative, it's always good to have the RNC tested regularly, just to be on the safe side.

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