Senate Democrats Announce Plan To Discover Own Balls, Gag Mitch McConnell With Them

hopefully we can toast the Dems like this!

As you may know, Donald Trump plans on Tuesday to nominate the best, the most tremendous, most qualified Supreme Court nominee in the history of Supreme Court nominees, because why not add one more Trump failure to the stewing pot of Trump failures that have marked the first week and a half of the Trump regime? It's not like journalists, who really should shut up already, aren't already chasing their tails trying to cover everything.

But you will be happy to know that Your Democrats are going to filibuster DA FUCK out of that nominee, even if it is Barack Obama Jesus Eating Arugula Because He Loves Roe v. Wade So Much. OK, probably not if it is that. Or if it's Hillary Clinton. Or Merrick Garland, HEY REMEMBER THAT GUY? He was the nice judge Obama nominated when Antonin Scalia pillowed himself to death and went to swim in the giant vat of pure applesauce in the sky. Republicans decided it wouldn't be fair for a common black Democrat president to get to replace Scalia, because #reasons, so they refused to hold hearings in hopes Trump would be elected, because folks, Donald Trump is not the first Republican who doesn't give a fuck about how American government is supposed to work.

Dems, they are pissed, and they are ready to filibuster:

Senate Democrats are going to try to bring down Donald Trump's Supreme Court pick no matter who the president chooses to fill the current vacancy.

With Trump prepared to announce his nominee on Tuesday evening, Sen. Jeff Merkley (D-Ore.) said in an interview on Monday morning that he will filibuster any pick that is not Merrick Garland and that the vast majority of his caucus will oppose Trump’s nomination. That means Trump's nominee will need 60 votes to be confirmed by the Senate.

“This is a stolen seat. This is the first time a Senate majority has stolen a seat,” Merkley said in an interview. “We will use every lever in our power to stop this.”

As Politico notes, any senator can get up and object to giving a SCOTUS nominee a simple vote, and Merkley says oh yes, sirs and ma'ams, that is what he is going to do. The DC gossip rag also notes that Sen. Amy Klobuchar told her Twitter constituents that Dems can block a SCOTUS nominee, and that Chuckles Schumer won't support anyone who isn't "mainstream," so we guess that means Trump can't appoint Steve Bannon to the high court, at least without a fight.

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell has already told us that "the American people" won't put up with it if Democrats obstruct Trump's SCOTUS pick, because LOLOLOL what a craven turtle-faced dildo-squeak of a man he is. He says he doesn't WANT to do the "nuclear option," but he guesses he will if the mean Democrats force him to do something uncouth like that:

McConnell is loath to change the rules of the Senate to allow confirmation of Supreme Court nominees by a simple majority but has not said explicitly what he would do if Democrats block Trump’s nominee. The Senate rules can be changed by a simple majority using the so-called "nuclear option" — last invoked by former Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) to ease the confirmation of Obama's judicial and executive nominees.

The Kentucky Republican told POLITICO that it’s up to Democrats where the Senate rules go — but also guaranteed Trump’s nominee will be confirmed, an implicit threat that if at least eight Democrats don’t get on board, there could be a unilateral rules change.

So will Trump's nominee get confirmed, even if Dems do this? Eh, maybe probably, we will see. If Trump nominates viciously anti-gay William Pryor, who MAYBE JUST PERHAPS has a picture floating around the internet of himself being a Gay Naked (allegedly!), then there could be some trouble in confirmation hearings when the Democrats on the Senate Judiciary Committee point and laugh and say, "I can tell that is a picture of you being a Gay Naked," and the Republicans will want to fight back, but they won't be able to stand up due to their boners.

(Also allegedly, the fight is more between the other two guys on Trump's short list. We don't know if they've ever been Gay Nakeds in their past, but we wouldn't be surprised.)

But at least it sounds like our Democrats are maybe slowly learning the lesson that they might as well #Resist, because Trump is never going to be anything but a disaster, and they might as well do everything they can do to mitigate the damage.



Love, Wonket


Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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