Senate Republicans Mastering Various Arcane Methods Of Parliamentary Annoyance

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Senator Judd Gregg, who only a few decades ago, in 2009, nearly became a domestic policy Cabinet member in the liberal Barack Obama administration, has circulated to his fellow Senate Republicans amemo listing in extreme detail the various medieval Dark Magic procedures it can apply to impede health care reform from reaching a final vote. Using legal methods to protect minority rights -- sounds a bit ACORN-y, don't it, HMM?


Basically they are all along the lines of, "If you speak the magic password 'knickers' to a pack of giraffes in the pages' dorm, place three (3) pubic hairs in the janitor's file cabinet, pour a bucket of turpentine in the toilet, and lastly and this must be done in proper order utter the words 'Motion to $32lkrf2n' to the presiding Senate president, you will be allowed to return provisions of the bill back to committee for further review and the review will take like nineteen (19) months and by that time everyone will be really sick of it and give up, as it states in the Commodity Futures Senate Filibuster Cloture Quorum Latin Magna Carta Modernization Rules Act of 1824 clause 5.432.3.Y, as affirmed in 2005 Supreme Court case David Addington vs. This Case Never Happened Because David Addington Holds The Legal Opinion That The Supreme Court Doesn't Exist And Can Fuck Off, and endorsed by Jesus."

It's amazing how efficiently Republicans get their shit together when there's an opportunity on the horizon to act like jackasses. But hey, that's their prerogative! TO ENSURE THE DEBATE IS THOROUGH BEFORE THEY DECIDE THEIR VOTES.

Good luck, Harry Reid! Yeesh. Too bad the Democrats can't bring Lyndon Johnson back from the grave to guest-spot as Majority Leader for a few months. He'd somehow hear that Republicans were planning to pull this crap weeks before they had even thought of it or knew they could, then appear in their dreams, slap each of 'em on the back, grin, and threaten to publish obscene Polaroids he'd obtained of them fornicating with Negro waiters in their fraternity houses, which is maybe illegal.

Does Harry Reid have it in him to procure the proverbial Magic Negro Polaroids required to move a piece of legislation through the United States Senate, or will this be his Vietnam? Will this be his Katrina? Will this be his Hurricane Katrina?

Judd Gregg's Blueprint for GOP Obstruction [TPM]

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