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The other day, after CIA Director Gina Haspel finished briefing a group of senators on not only the Saudi war on Yemen, but also what really happened to Washington Post journalist and legal American resident Jamal Khashoggi in the Saudi consulate in Turkey (he got bone-sawed to death, almost certainly upon the direct orders of Saudi crown prince Mohammed bin Salman), senators were PISSED. Not only were they pissed, but they were pissed BIPARTISANLY. Lindsey Graham said there was a "smoking saw," because Lindsey Graham is a very funny guy who knows how to do a play on words. He also said he won't support arms sales to Saudi Arabia while MBS is in power. Bob Corker said if MBS had to go before a jury, he'd be convicted within 30 minutes, and he also basically accused Secretary of State Mike Pompeo and Defense Secretary Jim Mattis of lying to their faces when they testified earlier in the week.

It seems like the only senator who wasn't pissed BIPARTISANLY was Rand Paul, who whined in the corner about how it was a very "DEEP STATE!" move for Haspel only to brief select committee leadership. What a trifling shitmouth he is.

Sounds like the Senate is still pretty pissed off, because on Thursday they introduced a BIPARTISANLY resolution giving MBS the business he deserves over the Khashoggi assassination-by-bone-saw, and the talking-to Donald Trump won't give him because Trump is a compromised piece of fuck who loves dictators more than he loves America.

The resolution has teeth, but we don't know if they are serrated teeth like on a bone saw.


The senators introducing the resolution, which will be named BIPARTISANLY AGAINST BONE SAWS, include Democrats Dianne Feinstein, Ed Markey and Chris Coons, and Republicans Lindsey Graham, Marco Rubio and Todd Young. Feinstein captured the essence of it on Twitter:

Strong words. She's saying "complicit" like MBS is a malodorous monster like Ivanka Trump or something, boy howdy! And it even says "complicit" in the resolution!

The text of the resolution calls out Trump's bestest friend Saudi Arabia for quite a lot, actually. On top of the Khashoggi murder and the war in Yemen, which has led to one of the most atrocious humanitarian crises in modern history, it also yells at them about the blockade in Qatar, Saudi Arabia's practice of jailing dissidents, and MBS's little stunt where he rounded up all the members of the royal family and other prominent Saudis and locked them in the Riyadh Ritz-Carlton for a little prison torture fun 'n' games.

It concludes by telling the Trump administration to GET ITS FUCKING SHIT TOGETHER, and calls upon the United States and the rest of the international community to punish Saudi Arabia for the Khashoggi murder. Then it tells Saudi Arabia to GET ITS FUCKING SHIT TOGETHER and fix Yemen and Qatar and release its goddamned fucking political prisoners, thank yew very much and goodnight.

More like this, please! BIPARTISANLY!

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Oh good, Jared Kushner decided to pick today to come out from the hidey hole where he back channels with Russians and the Saudi Murder Prince while lustily fingering the security clearance unlawfully procured for him by an unelected president.

That's just super.

It was at the Time 100 event, not because Jared was on the Time 100 this year, but we guess because he was on it in 2017. His profile back then was written by Henry Kissinger, who predicted he would be a "success." We guess this happened during a part of the event called "The Time 100's Biggest Bloopers, OMG" ... oh wait, hold on, Wonkette has just been informed that Time was being serious when it invited Jared.

Our bad.

Say something stupid in reaction to the release of the Mueller Report, J-Kush:

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We swear that John Cornyn is an honest-to-goodness US senator. Yet this is what the Texas Republican (or at least his campaign team) is tweeting while serious people are discussing impeaching the president.

Team Cornyn's tweet quickly found itself a resident of Ratio-ville, where the presiding mayor is Howard Schultz. But why did this crack team of political savants scour Twitter for old-ass tweets from one of the new Mads on "Mystery Science Theater 3000"? Is Patton Oswalt running for Senate? He's certainly more fit for office than Donald Trump. No, apparently, the comedian is just a supporter of a Senate candidate. Democrat MJ Hegar just launched her campaign today to unseat Cornyn in 2020, and Team Cornyn's rapid response was to attack someone who once said nice things about her. Seriously, they have no other connection.

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