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The other day, after CIA Director Gina Haspel finished briefing a group of senators on not only the Saudi war on Yemen, but also what really happened to Washington Post journalist and legal American resident Jamal Khashoggi in the Saudi consulate in Turkey (he got bone-sawed to death, almost certainly upon the direct orders of Saudi crown prince Mohammed bin Salman), senators were PISSED. Not only were they pissed, but they were pissed BIPARTISANLY. Lindsey Graham said there was a "smoking saw," because Lindsey Graham is a very funny guy who knows how to do a play on words. He also said he won't support arms sales to Saudi Arabia while MBS is in power. Bob Corker said if MBS had to go before a jury, he'd be convicted within 30 minutes, and he also basically accused Secretary of State Mike Pompeo and Defense Secretary Jim Mattis of lying to their faces when they testified earlier in the week.

It seems like the only senator who wasn't pissed BIPARTISANLY was Rand Paul, who whined in the corner about how it was a very "DEEP STATE!" move for Haspel only to brief select committee leadership. What a trifling shitmouth he is.

Sounds like the Senate is still pretty pissed off, because on Thursday they introduced a BIPARTISANLY resolution giving MBS the business he deserves over the Khashoggi assassination-by-bone-saw, and the talking-to Donald Trump won't give him because Trump is a compromised piece of fuck who loves dictators more than he loves America.

The resolution has teeth, but we don't know if they are serrated teeth like on a bone saw.


The senators introducing the resolution, which will be named BIPARTISANLY AGAINST BONE SAWS, include Democrats Dianne Feinstein, Ed Markey and Chris Coons, and Republicans Lindsey Graham, Marco Rubio and Todd Young. Feinstein captured the essence of it on Twitter:

Strong words. She's saying "complicit" like MBS is a malodorous monster like Ivanka Trump or something, boy howdy! And it even says "complicit" in the resolution!

The text of the resolution calls out Trump's bestest friend Saudi Arabia for quite a lot, actually. On top of the Khashoggi murder and the war in Yemen, which has led to one of the most atrocious humanitarian crises in modern history, it also yells at them about the blockade in Qatar, Saudi Arabia's practice of jailing dissidents, and MBS's little stunt where he rounded up all the members of the royal family and other prominent Saudis and locked them in the Riyadh Ritz-Carlton for a little prison torture fun 'n' games.

It concludes by telling the Trump administration to GET ITS FUCKING SHIT TOGETHER, and calls upon the United States and the rest of the international community to punish Saudi Arabia for the Khashoggi murder. Then it tells Saudi Arabia to GET ITS FUCKING SHIT TOGETHER and fix Yemen and Qatar and release its goddamned fucking political prisoners, thank yew very much and goodnight.

More like this, please! BIPARTISANLY!

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Photo by Wonkette Operative 'Teecha'

If it's Sunday, this must be Nice Things, our weekly escape from the quotidian awfulness. Our featured doggo this week comes via a photo by Wonkette reader "Teecha," and we don't think Teecha mentioned a name for this lovely old rescue dog. If it is a dog at all: I think it may actually be one of Sia's more inventive disguises, like that time she was a little pony.

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The producers of your favorite live-action Jack Chick pamphlet, "God's Not Dead" -- you know, the one where the Hercules dude plays an evil philosophy professor who tells all of his students on the first day that they are no longer allowed to believe in god? As all secular professors do? -- have come out with a thrilling new movie, all about how abortion is bad or whatever.

The movie tells the "true" story of Abby Johnson, a former Planned Parenthood clinic worker turned professional anti-choicer. Johnson has been a darling of the forced birth circuit ever since she made up ridiculous and provably false reasons for quitting the Planned Parenthood that was about to fire her for being bad at her job.

Basically, she claims that Planned Parenthood was pushing her to make more abortions happen so they could reel in more dough, and also that she witnessed (for the first time ever!) an ultrasound-guided abortion and saw the baby move from the light and then immediately realized that what she was doing was wrong.

The thing is, however -- no ultrasound-guided abortions were performed on the day she said it happened, and the only reason there was an uptick in abortions at her clinic was because they started offering the abortion pill on a daily basis (and had previously only been performing surgical abortions every other Saturday).

As you may have guessed, the movie does not address any of these things. It also looks very, very bad.

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