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Senate Subcommittee on Cuteness of Dogs Holds Hearing

Senator Robert Byrd has a dog. Her name is Trouble, but you can call her Baby. Apparently she's writing his Senate statements these days.


But best-in-show honors went to Byrd, who, in a statement notable for its breadth, explained why his eyes had been closed ("I have what is called dry eyes") and why he has tremors in his hand ("I'm not scared or anything"), noted his friendship with the late Chicago mayor Richard Daley, mentioned his 49 years in the Senate, called himself "Popeye the Sailor Man," and demanded the witnesses be sworn in, even though the hearing had been going on for nearly an hour.

It's unfair, of course, to hold the crazy old man up to ridicule when people who ostensibly still have all their mental faculties were just as inane.

"I have found Kibbles 'n Bits in my Cat Chow occasionally," said veterinary witness Claudia Kirk.

"Someone once said old age means realizing you won't own all the dogs you wanted to," posited Durbin.

As Harry Truman once said, if you want a column that writes itself, hold a Senate hearing about dogs.

Byrd Doggedly Expresses His Love for Man's Best Friend [WP]

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Poor People Are Mad As Hell, And They're Not Going to Take It Anymore.

The Poor People's Campaign marched on Washington, and we were there!

Culture Wars
by Dominic Gwinn

Yesterday the new Poor People's Campaign, led by Rev. William Barber and Rev. Dr. Liz Theoharis, concluded 40 days of protest and civil disobedience with a rally on the National Mall. Building off of Rev. Martin Luther King Jr's original Poor People's Campaign 50 years ago, the new campaign is aimed at uniting labor leaders with activists to build a coalition of all marginalized people

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The police have clearly failed to stop the scourge of black kids selling water to thirsty people, so your average law-abiding, permit-respecting white lady has no choice but to take matters into her own (did we mention they were white?) hands. You might call her a busybody gone power mad or a simple tool of racist micoaggression, but we just call her "Permit Patty."

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