Might deliver a baby, might sterilize you. It's terrific either way.

While everyone's watching the fallout from James Comey's testimony about Donald Trump trying to put the kibosh on the Michael Flynn investigation, Senate Republicans keep toiling away in the dark on their version of killing Obamacare, which they'll either unveil when they're good and ready to ram a vote through before anyone notices, or maybe give up on, depending on whom you ask. We'd like to hope there's no way they'll come up with anything draconian enough to please Rand Paul and Ted Cruz while being just moderately cruel enough to keep Susan Collins or Rob Portman on board. The most extreme rightwing senators are either being shut out or getting exactly what they want, again depending on the anonymous leaks coming out of the negotiations, but the one thing you can be sure of is that even a "moderate" Republican healthcare bill is going to suck -- the kinder and gentler option under discussion would generously roll back the Medicaid expansion in seven years instead of three, for instance. It's nice, though, that they'll let poor sick people have a choice between dying slowly or all at once, because we have the greatest health care system in the world.

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell is still shooting for a vote before the July 4 recess, just as long as whatever the Senate comes up with is terrible and can be voted on with a minimum of public attention. For some reason, Senate Democrats like Missouri Senator Claire McCaskill seem not to understand the urgency of quickly tossing together a law that affects a sixth of the economy and could leave tens of millions without health insurance. That's what makes her such an obstructionist. Orrin Hatch just doesn't see why we need some dumb "hearings" on all that:

It almost seems like the confusion about what may be in the bill is strategic, too. CNN reports that conservatives are ready to bail if the bill doesn't follow the House's example and gut protections for people with preexisting conditions, but MSNBC says it's likely the Senate bill will look more like the terrible House version than that.

Whatever ends up coming out of the Senate, it's not going to be good -- remember, the "kinder" version of the House bill, which kept protections for preexisting conditions and essential health benefits, still would have left 24 million Americans without insurance. The fight in the Senate is over how cruel the bill can be while still keeping some moderate votes, and The Week reminds us that "moderates" have tended to fold in the face of rightwing demands for bigger cuts, put in place faster, for freedom.

The one bit of potentially good news is that if just three Republicans refuse to support whatever version of Death Panels the Senate bill turns out to include, the bill will fail. In order to go through with a simple majority and escape the chance of a filibuster, the Senate bill would have to meet the requirements of the rules for reconciliation, which means it would have to be scored by the Congressional Budget Office -- they can't just ram it through like the House did, without knowing how much the bill costs or how many people would lose coverage. And the more people lose coverage, the more "moderates" the bill may lose, at least in theory. It's hard to say just how spineless they'll be on that.

The one thing that's certain: Assuming the Rs bend enough arms to get a bill in place, it'll be awful, and we all need to be making those calls to our senators, yet again, to let them know we haven't stopped paying attention -- especially senators who are up for reelection in 2018. Republican "moderates" can't be relied on to please make this shit sandwich only 80% as shitty as the House version. It needs to be flushed.

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[The Week / CNN / CNN / NBC News

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Robbin Young. Fair use so we can all see the boob picture she sent to her 12 true loves.

Robbin Young starred in the Roger Moore masterpiece For Your Eyes Only as the seventh female lead, "Girl in Flower Shop." She also starred in a bunch of Playboys, and the DM's of a humble Romanian hacker who stole her heart. But he was not a humble Romanian hacker, he was 12 Russian military intelligence officers in a trench coat. And now Young has shared those DMs and pictures of her buzzies with the Sun, because that's the one that's fookin' classy.

See how she loved! See how Guccifer ghosted her ass! See how she loves him (them) still! See how she was all up in Seth Rich and shit! (We think Young's judgment might not be awesome.) Also she wrote this "erotic poem," and we're going to need you to read it.

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And now it is time for your weekly reminder that in the Trump era, FUCKING APESHIT OUTRAGE WORKS.

On Monday, Donald Trump, the transactional president who for some godforsaken reason sees Vladimir Putin has his one true father, discussed making an Art Of The Deal with Russia that involved letting Robert Mueller interrogate the Russian spies who hacked America in 2016 (with Russian supervision, of course, in Russia) in exchange for sending Putin whichever American citizens hurt Putin's poor fragile butthurt pansy-ass feelings the past several years. One of Putin's targets is Michael McFaul, the former ambassador to Russia, whom Putin just hates. Hillary Clinton isn't on the official list yet, but give it a few weeks.

On Wednesday, Sarah Huckabee Sanders looked at reporters and told them Trump's people were considering the idea, but hadn't decided yet, because it's so hard for the Trump administration to decide how many treasons to do per week.

But hooray! The White House has decided that, after literally every American with a patriotic bone in his or her body said, "THE FUCK YOU SAY," they will not send Americans to Putin's gulag after all. The Washington Post reports:

The White House announced Trump's opposition Thursday as the Senate prepared to vote on a resolution telling the president not to honor Putin's request, which would have exposed former U.S. ambassador Michael McFaul, among others, to Russian questioning.

"It is a proposal that was made in sincerity by President Putin, but President Trump disagrees with it," White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said in a statement.

Oh my fucking Lord, Shuckabee, did you really type that Putin's offer was "sincere," or did Donald grab the statement after you finished with it and add those words in illiterate Sharpie in the margins, along with "DOES NOT MEAN PUTIN IS NOT MY BEST FRIEND" and "NO COLLUSION"?

By the way, that resolution passed the Senate with flying colors:

WOMP WOMP, Trump! Sorry American freedom and democracy stepped all over your dick again! Guarantee it's gonna happen again! Go fuck yourself! Enjoy the 48 Big Macs you have for dinner tonight! Don't talk directly into the soccer ball Putin gave you, 'less you want it to talk back to you in Russian!

OK post over.

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[Washington Post]

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