Senator Roy Blunt To Ensure Global Religious Freedom, For Certain Values Of 'Religious,' And 'Freedom'
Isn't it so nice that the Senate has solved all of our biggest problems -- andworking part-time at that! -- so now it can address some of our non-existent ones? You know, like ensuring the world knows that we REALLY, super duper, no but seriously, believe in religious freedom?
Oh, you didn't realize that was a problem? Maybe because it isn't a problem but Republicans sure do love to solve non-existent problems -- like investimagating IRSghazigate and determining whether the Kenyan State of Hawaii is part of 'Merica. Fixing non-existent problems is just so much easier than fixing real ones. So thank the maker, because when it comes to informing the world that we heart the fuck out of religious freedom, Missouri Sen. Roy Blunt is ON IT:
Sen. Roy Blunt (R-Mo.) demanded that Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) allow a vote on a bill aimed at protecting religious freedoms in the Middle East as Christians are being killed in Egypt.
Blunt said his bill was necessary because Coptic Christians and other civilians in Egypt are being killed as the country is on the verge of a civil war after the Egyptian military overthrew the government. [...]
“I urge Majority Leader Reid to allow a vote on this bipartisan legislation, which would call attention to all religious minorities and demonstrate to leaders in the region that the United States takes religious freedom seriously,” Blunt said.
The bill, S. 653, aka the Near East and South Central Asia Religious Freedom Act of 2013, would spend money we don't have because of how Obamacare stoled all our monies, to create a new government job, which is bad because anyone who has a government job is a blood-sucking taker, to go over to where all of our oil is to protect people who pray to Jesus. Protecting people who pray to Jesus from being slaughtered for praying to Jesus sounds good! But, hmmmm, what does Roy Blunt think about religious freedom for people who don't pray to Jesus? We wonder what we might discover!
While it is technically true that Blunt's bill does not specifically reference Jesus prayers in those exact words, we are pretty good at reading between Blunt's lines, and we know that when he babbles about religious freedom, he's only talking about, you know, the one kind. Like, say, for example some people -- you might even call them a religious minority -- want to build a mosque, which is not very Christian of them, in the general vicinity of Ground Zero. Well, that is "just as inappropriate" as that time "Dr." Laura got all n-wordy with her crazy self on the radio. You know, because even if the "Constitution allows you" to pray to a God who is not Jesus, that does not mean you should. Fuck those religious minorities, yo, because that's how religious freedom works, duh. In fact, shaming anyone who would dare support the construction of a non-Jesusy building was part of Blunt's whole Senate campaign in 2010. Because he believes in religious freedom THAT MUCH.
Blunt, you may recall, is also the father of the Blunt Amendment -- that failed attempt in 2012 to stand up for the religious freedom of employers to tell their slutty lady employees that no, they may not use birth control BECAUSE FREEDOM.
We sure hope Majority Leader Harry Reid will do exactly what Blunt tells him to do and hold a vote RIGHT NOW so that we can send someone over to the Middle East to stand up for Jesus because what could possibly go wrong with that?