Conspiracy Theories

Quaint Sexting Scandal Turns To Flaming Wreckage As QAnon News Anchor Self-Destructs

Anchor down in Anchorage.

Ethan Berkowitz, the Anchorage mayor who is the highest ranking Democratic official in the state of Alaska, stepped down this week after it was revealed that "several years ago" he had an "inappropriate texting relationship" with local reporter Maria Athens.

In simpler times, this would all be a fairly standard political scandal. A rather quaint one, really, given that as far as we know, nothing actually happened in person. We might even ask ourselves questions like "Why is this even a thing? Should he really resign over something like that? Are we really still pretending we care if politicians cheat on their spouses? And, really, do the Republicans have room to criticize an Alaska mayor for not stepping down over that kind of thing when they elected Donald Trump? Don't they kind of have to shut their mouths about that kind of thing forever?" before forgetting about it and both of them forever.

But it's 2020 and things are rarely that simple anymore.

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Conspiracy Theories

Ivanka Trump, Bill Barr Promise $100 Million To Fight Human Trafficking, Win QAnon Votes

Is this an accidental nice time story? Maybe?

In what sure as hell looks like a deeply cynical ploy to excite supporters of QAnon, the bizarre conspiracy theory that's rapidly becoming a pillar of the Republican Party, Attorney General Bill Barr and Chinese merchandise importer Ivanka Trump teamed up for a visit to Atlanta yesterday, where Barr announced the Trump administration would be awarding more than $100 million in new grants to programs that fight human trafficking and which provide services for victims of trafficking. That's on top of $35 million in grants awarded in August, and another announcement in January, all aimed at sending the message that the Trump administration is super concerned about fighting human trafficking, especially of children.

Because we all want to protect children from harm, don't we? And if Trump and company can convince some QAnon cultists that their delusions are real, and the administration is rescuing children from the clutches of George Soros and Hillary Clinton, that's surely a good use of taxpayer money. Only a monster who approves of the baby-murdering cabal could possibly object.

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sex crimes

'It Felt Like Tentacles:' Model Describes Being Forcibly Groped By Donald Trump

Ex-model Amy Dorris says Trump assaulted her at the 1997 US Open.

In 1997, Amy Dorris went to the US Open in New York City with her boyfriend Jason Binn and his good friend Donald Trump. She was 24 at the time. It should have been a really exciting and fun thing for a young woman to do — going to a big city, sitting in VIP areas, hanging out with Lenny Kravitz and Sean Combs at a time when he still went by Puff Daddy, etc. etc.

It was not.

Why? Because, she says, Donald Trump ruined the trip by being a pig, sexually assaulting her and then coming on to her for the entire trip.

Via The Guardian:

Dorris, who was 24 at the time, accuses Trump of forcing his tongue down her throat, assaulting her all over her body and holding her in a grip she was unable to escape from.

"He just shoved his tongue down my throat and I was pushing him off. And then that's when his grip became tighter and his hands were very gropey and all over my butt, my breasts, my back, everything.

"I was in his grip, and I couldn't get out of it," she said, adding: "I don't know what you call that when you're sticking your tongue just down someone's throat. But I pushed it out with my teeth. I was pushing it. And I think I might have hurt his tongue."

Wow, it sure would be entirely out of character for Donald Trump — a person who has bragged about groping women in this fashion and has a particular inclination towards blondes who look a whole lot like Amy Dorris — to do something like this. His lawyers can hardly believe it and are very certain that no such thing occurred, ever.

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Conspiracy Theories

No, They Did Not 'Legalize Pedophilia' In California

They made a current law less homophobic, that is all.

For weeks, rightwingers have been clasping at their pearls and crying out that California was about to legalize pedophilia — a statement so ridiculous that even I didn't bother to look into what they were on about.

But it's gone so far that even Laura Ingraham tweeted about it last night, claiming California was on its way to treating pedophilia as a protected lifestyle, and that if Joe Biden becomes president, it could spread across the whole entire United States.

This has been something the Right has been insisting would happen since forever, arguing it was a slippery slope from gay marriage to legalized pedophilia. Why? Because they didn't want gay people to get married. Now they're claiming it's coming to pass and that Joe Biden will lead the way. Right.

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