2020 Congressional Elections

Tommy Tuberville Let Raping Football Man Off With One-Game Suspension

Alabama Goddamn.

Wednesday evening, the campaign bus for Tommy Tuberville, Donald Trump's preferred candidate in Alabama's GOP primary for the US Senate, burst into flames and melted into a complete loss. The bus was on a test drive after some maintenance, and the driver, the only person aboard, escaped without injury.

Just in case you're keeping track of obvious metaphors from the creators of the "2020" simulation, the bus fire preceded by one day a Washington Examiner story, published last night, that details how, when Tuberville was the head football coach at Auburn University in 1999, he gave a mere one-game suspension to a football player who'd been charged with second-degree rape in a case involving a 15-year old girl. The athlete, Clifton Robinson, was 20 at the time, and pleaded to a reduced charge of "contributing to the delinquency of a minor," a misdemeanor.

After the guilty plea, Tuberville emphasized he was very, very disappointed, and that Robinson would have to face the consequences for his actions.

"Clifton is back on the team," coach Tommy Tuberville said. "He and I will sit down today and I'll tell him that we do things right around here, so he can expect there will be some punishment. What it is, I don't know yet." [emphasis added — Dok]

And apparently the way they did things around there was to issue a one-game suspension for Auburn's opening game of the season, because we guess Robinson was a pretty good player who really contributed a lot to the team, and as they say, why ruin a promising young man's life just for a little illegal sex with a minor?

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Tennessee Senate Locked The Doors And Banned Abortion Last Night

It's maybe the most appalling anti-abortion legislation ever.

In the dead of night last night, Republican cowards in the Tennessee legislature locked the doors, suspended Senate rules, and banned abortion. The bill, part of Gov. Bill Lee's agenda, was passed in the Senate 23-5, along party lines, just after 12:30 a.m. Friday. It was not on the chamber's legislative agenda.

And it's real bad.

The bill not only bans abortion at the point when a fetal heartbeat can be detected (not really a fetal heartbeat, because there's no heart at that point) — which is about six weeks gestation, before many even know they are pregnant — it also bans abortion if the doctor knows the parent is aborting the fetus because of their sex or race or because the fetus has Down syndrome.

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State/Local Politics

Nebraska Democrats Dump Gross Harassy Senate Nominee, Ew

Another story Wonkette would never cover if it were about a Democrat.

Nebraska Democrats would like to drop their nominee for US Senate like a hot potato, if potatoes grew in Nebraska and if potatoes sent gross sexually-harassing group texts about getting a female campaign staffer into an orgy. As an Idahoan, I can state for the record I would not want any such potato.

The Associated Press reported yesterday afternoon that the Nebraska Democratic Party's executive committee voted unanimously Monday night to withdraw all support from Chris Janicek's long-shot campaign for the Senate seat held by Republican Ben Sasse, after Janicek made what the AP called "sexually repugnant" comments about the staffer in a group text. Well yes, repugnant and moreso. Unfortunately for the party, Janicek says he doesn't plan to drop out of the race, which suggests he's not only gross but not very quick on the uptake.

Dude. Nobody cares that you "apologized." They want you gone, and with good reason.

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sex crimes

Fly The Rapey Skies With United Airlines

Airline protects drunk white woman who assaulted two black men on a redeye flight.

Back in February, during a redeye flight from Los Angeles International Airport to Newark Liberty International Airport. a woman made unwanted sexual advances toward an NFL player and his traveling companion. They're both black men, and she's white. That's worth mentioning because you can't imagine anyone daring to fuck with a professional football player, but this woman acted like she was in the front row at Chippendales.

According to a lawsuit the men filed in Los Angeles County Superior Court, the two men complained several times to the United Airlines flight attendants but they didn't do anything. Perhaps they were too busy blocking the aisle with the bland snack tray so no one could use the bathroom.

The woman become more aggressive and tried to remove the football player's face mask, which he was wearing as a precaution against COVID-19. Yeah, this was February 10. The brother was proactive. Most of us were still shaking hands and licking doorknobs. The mask was also not all the woman grabbed.

"While touching John Doe 1's face, assailant grabbed John Doe 1's penis and ripped off his face mask," the lawsuit said.

That's horrible and traumatic. It never should've gotten to that point. When the player left to seek help, the woman moved on to his companion, grabbing his leg and groin.

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