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Sexy New Version of Florida Recount Makes the Ultimate War On Xmas Present!

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Oh look what your editor stumbled upon, yesterday, while researching theGeorge W. Bush Jr. Xmas Gift Guide: It's Florida Erection, the cult-classic homosexual pornography telling of the 2000 recount in Florida! Here, from the cover copy: "Hundreds of cum-drenched ballots are ignored by Florida Secretary of State Harris (Lana Luster) when she declares George Gush the winner."


Oh that sounds pretty good! What else happens?

"The Florida Supreme court mandates a recount of the disputed cum-drenched ballots. Democratic Party observer Tuck Johnson and Republican observer Ryan Chandler do more than oversee as a cock sucking, ass fucking three-way ensues with election worker Tanner Hayes."

Yeah that is just about how we remember it. Shepherd Smith reported the hell out of that story, didn't he?

But why did the producers of this epic change Bush's name (to "George W. Gush") but not the name of Katherine Harris? Was she in on it, somehow? Also: Al Gore's porno name, in this movie, is "Al Bore." Is there anything more humiliating than having your porn name be "Al Bore"?

Florida Erection [GayVideoStore]

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It's the night before the two-night Democratic primary debate extravaganza, and we're already tired. Turns out having 20 candidates spread across two nights when only six or eight of them matter is not the must-see TV we all thought it was going to be! But that's not to dissuade you from getting excited! We're excited! We're so excited! We're so ...

Giphy

SCARED!

In case you need a reminder, here is how it's going to go down:

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Lately he's been blowing smoke from another orifice.

After a cursory examination of the TWELVE filings in the case against California Congressman Duncan Hunter just in the past 24 hours, we can confidently declare that that guy is a fucking idiot. The prosecutors have him by every last one of his short and curlies -- which is what happens when you use your campaign credit card to pay for hundreds of thousands of dollars of ski trips, video games, tuition, and plane tickets for the family rabbit.

A rational human being would have pleaded down a year ago and given up his congressional seat, since he could cash out and make a lot more money as a lobbyist anyway. But not Duncan Hunter! He made the federal government chase him down and document every last carton of cigarettes, round of tequila, and Uber ride of shame home from his many girlfriends' houses in a 60-count indictment filed last August. And still this dumb sumbitch refused to admit he was caught, even after his lovely wife (and co-conspirator) Margaret Hunter flipped on him this month -- which is what happens when you use your campaign credit card to carry on multiple affairs and you piss off the US Attorneys enough that they put every 7 a.m. Uber ride in your indictment.

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