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Voters in North Carolina, by'LucidHurricane'


While we think Oregon's perfectly reasonable "everybody votes by mail" system is probably the most efficient way to run an election, we're still partial to going down to the polling place and filling out a ballot, because we get sentimental about the rituals of democracy. But voting on a single Tuesday sucks and is inconvenient, so hooray for the 37 states (and the District of Columbia) that have early voting. Here in Idaho, our very own Kid Zoom mailed in his absentee ballot yesterday, in his very first presidential election, so we took an old "I Voted" sticker off our computer and stuck it on his shirt. So, for no other reason than that voting is awesome, here is a selection of stuff from around the interwebs about people exercising their franchise!

In Ohio, early voting started last week. Cleveland takes early voting seriously. With marching bands. OK, standing-there-on-the-steps bands:

Fired up, ready to go, as they say.

People have some pretty good reasons to get out this year.

We're not singling out HillaryForOhio, but they DO have a pretty good set of pics:

How about Georgia? Early voting started there Monday, and here is an ABC News video that isn't ripping off the theme from The West Wing hardly at all:

Tennessee early voting began Tuesday, and it's setting records! This handsome fellow what works for Wonkette has voted, so the rest of you can go home now. Or go vote now.

These fresh-faced young'uns just voted this morning, and they say it's easy! That's what we hear, too! (Evan got a cooler sticker, though. Sorry, kids.)

This gent in Alabama is sad because Alabama has no early voting at all. Alabama is a jerk, if you ask us. Please Note: Babies do not vote, not even in Tennessee.

North Carolina counties cut a whole bunch of early voting hours, after a federal court nixed some horrible vote suppression measures passed by the Legislature of Idiots a couple years back. Long lines, but lots of enthusiasm. Don't let the bastards grind you down, North Carolina. Looks like you're not!

What we are getting at is that you should go get yourself to an early voting site if you can, because your Supreme Overlord, The One, says you must:

Seriously. It's a good idea. And don't feel bad if you forgot to look up all the county supervisor candidates (you really should have) or the judicial candidates. (They always get retained. Leave it blank if you're not sure, that's fine.) If it makes you feel better about all the earnestness here, you can still go vote early with a very cynical attitude about it. We won't mind at all. OR WILL WE?

Get your ass out and vote, 'kay?

You cover up your dirty pillows with a long-form birth certificate, young lady

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Voters in Oklahoma approved a June ballot initiative making medical marijuana legal, and in response, the state's Republican establishment has gone into full Reefer Madness Freakout Mode, certain that if anyone gets a prescription for wacky tobacky, folks will be smoking marijuana in Muskogee, and wearing roman sandals instead of leather boots. Among those getting in on the fun of a full-on political panic was Julie Ezell, the general counsel for the State Department of Health, who resigned last week after it was revealed she'd written threatening emails to herself and claimed they'd been sent by dangerous weed advocates. Ezell was charged Tuesday with making a false police report and generally being a narc in the incident. Authorities are said to be weighing an uptight buzzkill enhancement.

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Two days ago, Donald Trump pulled off his stinky diaper, rubbed it into his orange hair, and shouted WHERE'S MUH PARADE? He'd just emerged from a two-hour, closed-door meeting with a former KGB officer, confident that his manly charm and unfailing natural instincts had carried the day again. Putin said he didn't hack the DNC, and why ever not wouldn't Trump just not believe him!

So, what did Trump and Putin discuss when they were mano-a-mano? Only Vladimir Putin's listening device knows! Donald Trump is a stable genius, and geniuses don't take notes!

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