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Shoe-Hurling Iraqi Hero's Show Trial Set For December 31

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A very brave man once stood up in a press conference and took off his shoes one at a time and threw them at the President of America, who nimbly ducked because he still has the reflexes of a regular cocaine user. This shoe-throwing fellow was promptly taken to an Iraqi jail, where he was probably beaten, and now he will be tried for, let's see, "aggression against a foreign head of state" on the very last day of the year. Translation: Muntadar al-Zaidi will be locked in a coffin of live rats and shipped to Dick Cheney's basement at the Naval Observatory, where the Vice President will spend his New Year's Eve skinning and stuffing the hapless Iraqi, who will become the latest addition to his growing collection of large mammal specimens.


Muntadar al-Zaidi faces five to 15 years in prison for chucking a couple of shoes at George W. Bush. He will probably be tried on a lesser charge of "attempted aggression," because, who knows, maybe the straight-up aggression charge only applies if the shoe-hurler doesn't miss? Or if you're throwing something more menacing than a shoe? The point is, Muntadar al-Zaidi owes George W. Bush a debt of gratitude for dodging a projectile so well, or else our brave journalist friend would probably already have been tortured to death by Blackwater goons.

Iraq shoe-thrower set for trial [BBC News]

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It started with them damn hats. (Image: Wikimedia Commons)

A guest post by "Knitsy McPurlson," which we suspect is not a real name.

Yr Wonkette is not the only website run by brilliant peoples unafraid to poke people with sharp, pointy sticks. Ravelry.com – a website for knitters, crocheters, and other folks interested in textiles and fiber arts – is poking people with knitting needles, which are very sharp indeed.

This past weekend, Ravelry.com's founders showed the world how easy it is to de-platform white nationalists and racists when they banned all "support of Donald Trump and his administration" from their website, concluding they "cannot provide a space that is inclusive of all and also allow support for open white supremacy." Seems like people smart enough to decode a knitting pattern are also smart enough to decode Trump's not-so-hidden message of racism and white nationalism.

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One day, God willing, my grandchildren will click open their history textbooks and read about the Central American migrant internment camps. They'll learn about sick kids, locked in cages, kept hungry and dirty and cold for weeks on end, and they'll be horrified.

"Bubbie," they'll say, "how could this happen in America? How could there be toddlers sleeping on the ground without blankets, without soap or toothbrushes to clean themselves?"

"I don't know. I wish I had done more. I'm ashamed," I'll say. We will all have to answer for this atrocity. But some of us will have to answer more than others. Not just the archvillains like Stephen Miller and John Kelly, but the people who kept right on doing their jobs, even as those jobs morphed into defending concentration camps.

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