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Shouty Pundit Doesn’t Understand Brave Mitt Romney’s Plan To Save Detroit With Cleansing Fire

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Mitt Romney says we don’t need any more of thesesocialist fire men (and women!) because Smokey the Bear said only you can prevent forest fires, so PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY! But loud televised Maoist Ed Schultz disagrees, pointing out that Detroit is burning pretty much constantly.


Surely, Detroit could use some more firefighters? At the very least, the nearly bankrupt city could use some help making sure it keeps the fire department remains staffed at or near its present levels, right? Right?

No. That would be very wrong, Mr. MSNBC union thug.

Consider Detroit’s famous Packard Plant. This is a thing that used to be a thing because people made cars there. Then it became a thing because Eurotrash tourists like to visit and take Hipstamatic photographs inside the iconic urban ruin. But locally, the Packard Plant is mainly a thing because the bitch is always on fire.

And the Detroit Fire Department is all the time putting out Packard Plant fires. With our tax dollars! They do this mainly because they are lazy government workers trying to justify their bloated paychecks. That they receive for running into burning buildings to save lives and property. Jerks.

The genius of Mitt Romney’s common sense, run-government-like-a-business anti-firefighter plan is it will allow the Packard Plant to finally just burn itself to the ground. Then super-awesome job creators -- unburdened by the shackles of the high cost of the lowest tax rates in over a half-century -- will be able to build something new and awesome and job create-y in its place.

That probably isn’t what economists mean by “creative destruction,” but it totally should be!

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It was bound to happen. We're now watching Republican congressmen react to Donald Trump sitting in the Oval Office and saying "RUSSIA IF YOU'RE LISTENING" during an interview with George Stephanopoulos, literally inviting hostile foreign powers to attack the 2020 election for him like Russia did in 2016. And if you thought there wouldn't be at least one of them to say the quiet part loud and state for the record that crime is good if it helps Republicans win, then you haven't been paying attention to the Republican party in quite a while.

Enter GOP Rep. Chris Stewart of Utah, who sits on the House Intelligence Committee, AKA the committee whose members really should know better, even the Republicans, but unfortunately they don't because A) they're idiots and B) they've been sucking at Devin Nunes's dairy cows' teats (ALLEGEDLY) for too long:

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