Shrubbery Shocker: Cheney's Just Hiding Bush's Remote

Like our brave American heroes at Central Command in Florida who remotely bomb Afghan villages using military-grade PS2s, Dick Cheney is simply standing in the bushes so you don't see the remote control he uses to make Bush lie.

Libtard haters maliciously claim that Cheney is speaking through Dubya, in a sort of high-tech version of ventriloquism. This is a dirty partisan lie. The remote triggers a steel "bear trap" device that literally crushes and stabs Dubya's balls whenever he wanders "off message." Those dazed looks of fear and pain that mark every televised statement by the "president"? That's Cheney pushing the red button.

Wonkette Exclusive Coverage of Cheney Standing In Bushes:

Cheney's Life In the Bush of Ghosts

Dick Cheney Coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE


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