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Shut Up Paul Anka, Ben Shapiro's Dad Has Written Greatest Pro-Life Anthem OF ALL TIME!

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Move over, Paul Anka. There is a new pro-life anthem in town, and not a minute too soon because "You're Having My Baby" came out over 40 years ago! Let's remind ourselves of the glory and perfection that was the song about how Paul Anka is super glad his woman did not put a coathanger to the fruit of his jism:


BOY! That was GREAT!

But is it great enough to be better than this new greatest please-mommy-don't-bort-me musical sextravaganza from, apparently, Ben Shapiro's dad? Fuuuuuuuuck no it's not!

Wait, you are asking, because you don't come here often, who is Ben Shapiro please? Well, he is a terrible person who is so awful that the night his daughter was born (Molotov, Ben!), he announced her birth with a tweet ragging on President Barack Obama, because PRIORITIES. (Also, he is a bigot, are you just knocked over with surprise?)

So, Ben Shapiro's dad, who it seems is named "David Shapiro Music," has a new song about fetal heartbeats and good decent hetero straight women proud of being good-decent-hetero-straight-married to their husbands and it has lots of stock photos of big stretched out veiny bellies what ain't got no buttons, and multicultural cute babbies and just look at that classy manicure and that classy stubble, that is some sweet sweet straight-hetero romantic stockphoto, right there.

Don't be the douche who doesn't watch the video, or you will not be able to weigh in on whether Dok is correct -- that "You're Having My Baby" is still, somehow, ineffably worse -- or my contention that this is worse because shut up is why.
Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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And now for some very serious TUT TUTTING! It's time again for Republicans to make sad words about President Treason McTraitorpants selling out the country. This time they are seriously concerned, nay even deeply troubled, that Donald Trump would stand next to Vladimir Putin and pretend the Russians didn't hack the 2016 election. These patriotic Republicans are shocked, SHOCKED! Well, not, like, upset enough to do anything about it -- not with a fascist carpooler to jam into the Supreme Court. But they've got tweets, so it's all good!

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Republicans are in a pickle. Midterms are coming up and the party in the White House usually loses seats in those elections. It doesn't help their chances that their guy Donald Trump frolics through fields holding hands with self-made Russian dictator and coincidental poisoner Vladimir Putin, who our own justice department believes attacked our mostly free elections and our true national monument, the Internet.

If you're as old as I am, you'll recall that back in the 1980s, the whole Republican brand involved not trusting the Ruskies, and they were especially disappointed when Kevin Costner turned out to be one in No Way Out. Now, the current Republican president is talking like some kind of crazy commie lib, bashing the FBI and giving the benefit of the doubt to a former KGB agent. During an interview Sunday where he wore a hat with "USA" in big letters on it, presumably so someone could easily return him if he got lost on the field trip, Trump went so far as to call the European Union a "foe" of his country, which if you believe his hat is supposedly the United States not Russia.

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