Shut Up Paul Anka, Ben Shapiro's Dad Has Written Greatest Pro-Life Anthem OF ALL TIME!

Move over, Paul Anka. There is a new pro-life anthem in town, and not a minute too soon because "You're Having My Baby" came out over 40 years ago! Let's remind ourselves of the glory and perfection that was the song about how Paul Anka is super glad his woman did not put a coathanger to the fruit of his jism:

BOY! That was GREAT!

But is it great enough to be better than this new greatest please-mommy-don't-bort-me musical sextravaganza from, apparently, Ben Shapiro's dad? Fuuuuuuuuck no it's not!

Wait, you are asking, because you don't come here often, who is Ben Shapiro please? Well, he is a terrible person who is so awful that the night his daughter was born (Molotov, Ben!), he announced her birth with a tweet ragging on President Barack Obama, because PRIORITIES. (Also, he is a bigot, are you just knocked over with surprise?)

So, Ben Shapiro's dad, who it seems is named "David Shapiro Music," has a new song about fetal heartbeats and good decent hetero straight women proud of being good-decent-hetero-straight-married to their husbands and it has lots of stock photos of big stretched out veiny bellies what ain't got no buttons, and multicultural cute babbies and just look at that classy manicure and that classy stubble, that is some sweet sweet straight-hetero romantic stockphoto, right there.

Don't be the douche who doesn't watch the video, or you will not be able to weigh in on whether Dok is correct -- that "You're Having My Baby" is still, somehow, ineffably worse -- or my contention that this is worse because shut up is why.
Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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