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OMG there's been another religiously motivated beheading (fine, near-beheading) in Oklahoma!


In Stillwater on Wednesday, 21-year-old Isaiah Zoar Marin had been watching a whole bunch of YouTube videos about Christianity, when apparently, the Spirit of the Lord drove him to take literally the infallible word of God in Exodus 22:18: "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live."

According to an affidavit by Isaiah's brother, Samuel Marin, Isaiah did what any Bible-believing Christian would do: He picked up "a large black sword" that was in the apartment (really, what tastefully decorated student apartment doesn't have one of those?), started swinging it around, and then stabbed his 19-year-old acquaintance, Jacob Andrew Crockett, in the chest because he suspected that Crockett was a practitioner of witchcraft. As one does. Police said that Crockett's body had nearly been decapitated.

Following the alleged murder, Samuel ran from the apartment -- an understandable instinct after allegedly watching his brother stab someone to death -- but Isaiah followed him and tried to reassure him that he “would explain why he killed Jacob from letters he would write while he was in prison.” According to Samuel, Isaiah and that Crockett boy had a history of disagreements about Crockett's sinful behavior and that Jacob and his brother “were practicing witchcraft and Isaiah had strong Christian beliefs.”

Jesse Crockett, the victim's brother, told police Isaiah was "a “heavy drug user” and “religious zealot,” but that's just the sort of thing a witchcraft-doer would say to smear a good Christian, isn't it? It remains unclear what specific things the Crockett brothers did that set off Isaiah's witch-finding senses. Considering this is Oklahoma, it could have been anything from having expressed a fondness for the Harry Potter franchise to serious demon-summoning such as that practiced while playing Dungeons and Dragons.

Isaiah Marin was arrested about a mile away, carrying "a large knife" and covered in blood; a police spokesman said that Marin had been fantasizing about killing "four or five people," but only managed to eliminate the one witch.

Now, don't worry, this beheading is utterly unlike the other recent beheading in Oklahoma, where a guy was fired from his job and then killed one woman and tried to kill another. That killer, Alton Nolen, was a Muslim, so it's absolutely clear that his violent rage was the result of Islam and its culture of violence. Isaiah Marin, on the other hand, is merely an unbalanced person whose violent actions went completely against the peaceful religion to which he swore allegiance, so there's no comparison, really. It would be wrong to say that Christianity led him to do murder, just as it wopuld be wrong to say that Islam and all Muslims aren't responsible for Nolen's actions. Besides, ISIS, right? We must note that, horrific as this crime was, it is nothing compared to the murderous behavior of ISIS in Iraq and Syria. Perspective, people.

[KFOR via RawStory]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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How do you do, fellow libs? We come together tonight to cheer and clap and cry and laugh, with our leader, Elizabeth Warren, and her fellow nice people Jay Inslee (the gold standard in climate action), Beto O'Rourke (excellent on being a good ally mostly), Cory Booker (best corny love hippie but also Wall Street, it's weird), Julian Castro (I don't know, people are super into him despite his creepy twinness and his too much pomade), Amy Klobuchar (bad bitch), Bill de Blasio ( ... ), John Delaney (???), and Tim Ryan and Tulsi Gabbard.

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We know, the thing we said in our headline is a thing you can say every day, but it's really intense today, maybe because Donald Trump is now filled with fear of the inescapable reality that millions of Americans who have not read the Mueller Report are going to see Robert Mueller testify on live TV on July 17, and Donald Trump will be exposed. Maybe the Big Mac vending machine next to his golden toilet is on the fritz and he hasn't had gotten to eat a Big Mac on the poop chair since last night. Maybe he's just a weak and sad person, a collection of shithole cells God meant to throw in the garbage, but accidentally implanted in Mary Trump's turkey incubator. We imagine that'd lead to a pretty constant state of anxiety and ennui.

Whatever it is, he's totally fucked right now. We were going to write a nice post about Trump's batshit interview on Fox Business with Maria Bartiromo, but we were busy, and by the time we got to it, he had performed so many batshit feats that we're just going to stick them all in this one post.

Let's start with the fight he's trying to wage with US soccer star Megan Rapinoe, who in a now-viral video stated that she has no fuckin' interest in going to the White House to meet that idiot. He got into a quarrel with her on Twitter ... or at least with a Twitter account that didn't belong to her. It's now been replaced, in order that the adult president may shit-tweet at the soccer superstar who hurt his feelings, but Splinter grabbed the original:

The rant continued:

Right. And Megan Rapinoe just said win or lose, she has no interest in meeting your crusty ass, because no decent American would consider that an honor.

Besides, she has already been to the White House to meet a legitimately elected president:

By the by, the owner of the incorrect Megan Rapinoe account saw Trump's whining and told him to grow a dick and set it on fire:

Ya burnt!

But as we said, it was a whole day of batshit from Trump, so let's continue.

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