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Skoalrebel Now With 100% Fewer N-, F-Words

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Well here's a happy little inspirational story to make your Monday a little sun-shinier: the artist formerly known as Skoalrebel has returned to the YouTube after going off the grid for several months, after all you hateful Internet banshees mocked him off the webcam. Apparently he used this time away to engage in deep spiritual reflection, because he's not racist no more!

He's also found God and stopped swearing, and he's got some shiny new sunglasses to protect his peepers from the blinding brightness of the Lord's holy light because you have to ease into these things, and he's chewing Timber Wolf, which was Jesus' preferred brand of chew. See, staying off the Internet can be good for some people!

Speaking of branding, don't call him Skoalrebel no more because he's now "mudjugsforlife21," to celebrate the coming of a new day in America. You Wonkette subscribers are probably clueless about what "mudjugs" are, because of elitism, but they are elegant "portable spittoons." Sargeant Spitter, one of mudrebel69's brothers in Christlike expectoration, and who also wears shiny sunglasses, explains how these sacred American-made vessels are manufactured in this here instructional terror film:

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Here's the kind of weird election year 2018 is: Democrat Tammy Baldwin, among the most progressive of the ten Democratic US senators from states won by Donald Trump, introduced a "Made in America Act" bill earlier this month. It would require federal infrastructure projects to use US-made steel, iron and other products, and Donald Trump is an enthusiastic supporter. Even says he'll sign it. But both of the Republican Senate candidates from Wisconsin -- who otherwise insist they love, love, love Trump the most -- have staked out positions against the bill, because, um, well, a Democrat introduced it, so populist made-in-America legislation is probably secret socialism. America Not First if it's a demmycrat idea!

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You know what? It has been a LONG week, and I think we all need and deserve something cheerful for our Saturday open thread! Right? Right.

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