Slappy Sweeney's Story of Success
After all, the alleged drunk and wife beater has a long list of accomplishments to show from his years in Congress:
* When it comes to using federal cops to lock up cancer patients using medical marijuana, he's No. 1.
* After boozing up at a bar in Upstate New York, he successfully stranded skiers on the lifts when he expertly knocked down a utility pole with his Jeep.
* Sweeney was named one of the Top 20 Most Corrupt Congressmen by the prestigious Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington.
* His stripper wife started a "fund-raising company," and the next day landed a great client: John Sweeney!
* Of New York's 29 members of the House, Slappy McDrunk ranked No. 1 in taking campaign donations.
You'll always be a "success story" in our eyes, Mr. Congressperson.
The Sweet Smell of John Sweeney [Albany Eye]