Slappy Sweeney's Story of Success

Success ... it's for losers! - WonketteLosing your "safe seat" in the House doesn't mean you're a Loser -- according to the Albany magazine "Success," it means just the opposite.

After all, the alleged drunk and wife beater has a long list of accomplishments to show from his years in Congress:

* When it comes to using federal cops to lock up cancer patients using medical marijuana, he's No. 1.

* After boozing up at a bar in Upstate New York, he successfully stranded skiers on the lifts when he expertly knocked down a utility pole with his Jeep.

* Sweeney was named one of the Top 20 Most Corrupt Congressmen by the prestigious Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington.

* His stripper wife started a "fund-raising company," and the next day landed a great client: John Sweeney!

* Of New York's 29 members of the House, Slappy McDrunk ranked No. 1 in taking campaign donations.

You'll always be a "success story" in our eyes, Mr. Congressperson.

The Sweet Smell of John Sweeney [Albany Eye]


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