Slime, Sleaze And Shrimp
This city is full of movers and shakers, people also commonly referred to as cheaters, liars, and closeted gays. They have their little hangouts, notably theden of semen and the entire length of K Street, but their special lairs also include places where food is consumed. Old Ebbit Grill is once such restaurant that these folks frequent with their half-naked, but always super duper smart, clients to talk politics and god knows what else.
Old Ebbit is your quintessential mover and shaker spot. It’s where the important folks go to have their little power lunches during which they'll create some policy that will ruin society, like color coded terror levels -- an idea YOU KNOW was formed while someone was coloring on the kids menu. It's the PERFECT spot for deals to happen. The restaurant is dark, there are no windows, and it's got this classic sleazy vibe with a little bit of "we get shit done here" to it.
Best part about this place is their late night happy hour. Remember this: important people eat meals at odd hours. Their late night happy hour goes from 11PM-1AM, Sunday through Thursday, and the deal is 50% off their raw bar. Movers and shakers make money, but it all goes to child support, so EVERYONE wins with this deal! The raw bar magically becomes affordable during this happy hour and the seafood is so good. It's fresh, it's plentiful, and it's perfect. (Refer to the photo up top to see what a delicious oyster, succulent clam and damn good HUGE shrimp look like at Old Ebbit). Amazing isn't it. Ain't nothing like the plebeians and the important folk breaking crab legs together. Unless someone keeps kosher. Complicates everything. Good thing black people and not the Jews run DC now. Let's all go find some pork!